


'Til Monday Do Us Part

by overall_sin_and_trash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (oh boy I'm going to hell), A DAMN LOT MORE ANGST THAN PLANNED, Also Lucifer and Michael have emotional issues I swear, Angst, But also still humorous so yay, Denial, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gabriel is a dirty minded little man, Happy Fluff Times with the Gang, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Maybe Smut If I Stop Being a Coward, Pranks, Raphael is a (trans)girl and we love her, Sibling Incest, tw: abuse, tw: rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-05-18 07:05:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14848025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overall_sin_and_trash/pseuds/overall_sin_and_trash
Summary: Inspired, or rather, prompted, by the lovely lightbringingangel on tumblr. And I'll use their prompt as the summary, too.)"AU where Michael and Lucifer are not in love with each other, just faking a relationship to annoy their little brother. But the show, which was supposed to end after a few days, dragged on for a much longer time. Carried away by that game, full of passion, Lucifer does not immediately realize that he really fell in love with his older brother. And he was never so sure his feelings can not be mutual."(If you are triggered by mentions and rather graphic imagery of rape and or violence, please refrain from reading this work, as the plot is dependent on certain graphic events! I don't want to harm anyone with this, really, feel free to yell at me if I do)





	1. Proposals

**Author's Note:**

> I did change a few words in the summary, by the way, but they all just mean the same thing.  
> Go check them (lightbriningangel) out on tumblr!

The best part about living so close to the city was that their house had a patio up on the roof. All the homes in the area were like that; tall, skinny, and with an accessible roof area. Sure, the Miltons didn't decorate it with things like chairs or fire pits, like some did, but they did have a few plants, and the kids could always sit on the ledge. It was a bit high up, so they had a ladder on one side of it, but that was all the decoration they needed.

Chuck, the father and head of the household, was a nice guy or decent father, but luckily his writing stole a good amount of his time away from the family. Their mother, Becky, did some kind of secret writing of her own, and she was busy with hiding that for at least a few hours a day. But the kids didn't mind, not really. It got worse by the years, and by the time the Michael became old enough to keep a child alive, it was okay that they weren't always around, and they really left home a lot.

Michael was the first child, and is 25, Lucifer came second and is 17, and Raphael and Gabriel came third and fourth, aged 13 and 12, respectively. Michael finally decided to go to college after a while of traveling around and working, but finally came back to visit his family for the first time in far too long. Lucifer missed him more than anyone, and so as soon as he saw Michael he dragged him up to the roof to catch up. And after a long while of conversation, the sun began to set, but Lucifer remained ecstatic.

“Michael, trust me.” He grinned. “It’s gonna be the greatest idea you've ever heard anyone say.”

“Why do I doubt that?” His older brother sighed.

“Because you have no vision.”

“Just get on with it, would you? It’s getting cold up here.”

Lucifer frowned. Fine, it was getting cold, and maybe this was a really really stupid idea, maybe Michael would be mad at him forever and never want to come visit… no, no, he shook those thoughts away and smiled again. “We prank Gabriel. Hard.”

It was Michael’s turn to look interested. “What’d you have in mind?”

Lucifer held his breath for effect, Michael leaned in. “What if…” Lucifer whispered, his gleaming eyes dancing beneath his golden shock of hair, “We make Gabriel think we’re dating?”

Michael looked scandalized. “You think he’ll take that?”

“Course he will!”

“Yeah, but it’s still gross…”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Michael, we don’t have to do anything risque, you idiot. We just have to act sappy and hold hands, the most intense thing being a kiss.”

  
Michael contemplated his brother’s words before nodding. “Okay, I mean, I used to kiss you when you were little.”

“You did until I was mid-sized and competent, which Gabriel knows from pictures, so it’ll be even better.”

“Shuddup, you’re a cute little dork.”

Lucifer laughed aloud. “Starting already, are we?”

Michael grinned, but shrugged.

“Rules are, we can't ever discuss this because he might always be listening or stealing our phones when we're not looking.” Lucifer said. “Whisper it in my ear if you really need to talk about it. Another rule is that neither one of us can kiss the other or make an intense innuendo kinda thing without warning the other. Wink at me, and I'll wink at you-- that kinda thing. It'll seem normal enough.” He paused as Michael nodded. “The final rule is that we have to stay in character the whole week, so until dusk at Monday. This okay?”

“Sure, Luce,” Michael chuckled. “You dork.  
  
“Stop calling me a dork.” Lucifer huffed, sticking out his tongue quickly. “Okay, uhm--” He cleared his throat and got to one knee. “Will you be my fake boyfriend for a week?” He asked with mock seriousness.

Michael let out a long sigh, suddenly looking far more glum. “Lucifer, this is stupid-- I just-- think about it, it's gross.”

“One week, just one week. I'm asking for you to hold my hand and watch The Notebook with me, not put your dick in my ass.” Lucifer retorted with his arms crossed. He was mainly annoyed that Michael went from on board to five miles back in a life preserver in the span of about five seconds-- but he wouldn't let any of that show.

Michael suddenly burst out laughing and punched his brother in the shoulder. “Okay, okay, I'll do it. _Dork_.”

“Hey, hey, you love me.” Lucifer sniggered as he sat back down on the ledge. “And now I mean you really love me.”

They sat in silence for a while, shifting closer slowly until they were shoulder to shoulder still looking out at the sunset.

Michael noticed, by stealing looks over at the other when he was sure it'd go unnoticed, the sun made Lucifer's hair blaze a strong gold, his fair skin aglow with sunlight, while his blue eyes remained as vibrant and mischievous as ever.

Lucifer noticed, in the same kind of action, that Michael's lips (which looked soft, not that it mattered to the younger...) were turned up a bit in a warm smile. Michael rarely smiled around anyone but him, which in turn made him smile too. It was a pretty sunset, so Lucifer thought Michael smiled subconsciously because of it, and nothing else.

Because, really, what else was there to smile about?

There was suddenly an elbow poking into Lucifer's side. “Luce! It's Gabriel!” He hissed, pointing off to the staircase where the clatter of noise signified the entrance of the youngest Milton.

The door audibly opened, though it was still out of sight, and Michael decided that he'd be the dominant figure in the relationship. He pulled Lucifer by the shirt collar, winking obviously, and smashed his lips against the younger’s. He brought his hands up to the sides of Lucifer's gently flushed face and held him in place as he easily snuck his tongue into Lucifer's mouth.

No, it wasn't the most pretty kiss, but it all happened fast. And it didn't even seem too monumental, because, well, Michael had actually had sex with a few girls, and Lucifer knew his way around an impromptu blowjob behind a pool shed. So it's not like either of them were really that innocent. (Also, Michael’s lips _were_ soft. But it really wasn't something Lucifer wasn't thinking about. Really.)

If the kiss wasn't important to them, well, it certainly was very important for Gabriel. He walked over just as Michael pulled away from the very dazed Lucifer. Gabriel was in shock, honestly. What he thinks he just saw was something he couldn't just accuse them of, but it really looked like the older was trying to hide whatever that was from him. This didn't seem like a trick, and anyways Michael rarely pranked him-- it was Lucifer's thing. (Or so he thought, Michael now seemed able to be the mastermind behind some of them. Who knows what he's capable of…)

“What the hell are you two doing up here!?” Gabriel cried, his poor, twelve year old brain unable to come up with anything more like: hey why are you shoving your tongue down our brother's throat?

Michael coughed awkwardly and Lucifer turned his attention back to the darkening sunset. He thought frantically. “The sunset--” he said quickly, purposefully making it sound like a lie. “--Luce wanted company to come watch the sun start to set.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Lucifer's back-- suspicious. “Company--?” He came and sat next to Michael. “Then I do hope you won't mind I join you.”

“Of course not, Gabe. The more the merrier.” Michael beamed.

Gabriel frowned once the oldest turned away, looking behind his back at Lucifer. Who still looked pink in the face with almost wide eyes. “You okay, Luci?” He said, tapping him on the back.

Lucifer snapped towards him quickly. “What? Of course! I'm fine, just great, actually. Why'd you think I wasn't?”

“Hmm… just… you're all flushed. You sure you don't have a fever?”

Lucifer shook his head. “Yeah, I'm sure. Just, before you came in, Michael was--”

“Telling stories of when he was younger!” Michael interjected hastily. “You know, embarrassing ones.”

No. Gabriel still thinks they were making out. “Really? What'd he do?”

Again, Lucifer was pink, now more of a red, not embarrassed by the kiss but indignant that apparently this was the subject of conversation now.

“Well,” Michael started. “One time in sophomore year my class had a camping trip to go on. Lucifer found out about it and, of course, he didn't want me to go, so the night before the trip, I was sleeping soundly, and so was everyone else in the house. Except, as always, for Lucifer, who snuck into my room and clung to me like a koala. I woke up at one point late at night to find him on my chest, but I didn't say anything or wake him, because he was sleeping so nicely, he was like a hot water bottle with how cozy and warm he was, and oh, he looked so adorable-- I just didn't have it in me to wake him.”

“Micah…” Lucifer groaned, hiding his face with his knees to his chest. “Stoppit. ‘M not cute.”

Michael grinned and ran his hands through Lucifer's hair for a moment. “You _are!_ And you were then too--!” He turned back to Gabriel. “--Well, he was very cute until I woke up thirty minutes late from when I wanted to because my little koala was smart enough to turn off my alarm.”

“He did not!” Gabriel cried, momentarily forgetting about his epiphany.

“He did! Luckily I was only waking up that early because I wanted to make sure I had everything I needed, and I still could have gotten to school on time.”

“Oh my God, when was this!?” Gabriel giggled.

“A few years back in October, over that little Halloween break we get.”

Gabriel's smile faltered. “Wait… you were with us over that break, weren't you?”

“I was, that's when I convinced Lucifer to be the Devil for Halloween, on the grounds that I would be an angel. You were Willy Wonka and Raphael was a cat. Remember? I ended carrying Lucifer home on my shoulders because he got scared by some teenagers, and then mom and dad had to separate you and Raphie because you kept hitting her with your cane a bit too hard, and so she scratched at you with her claws and I ended up being the only family member not wounded by the entire night.” Michael grinned, nostalgic and happy.

“Yeah… so what about the trip? Was it a day trip?

“No, it lasted all break.” Michael sighed. “But when I woke up with Lucifer on me, I felt bad, and he woke up all delirious, being all sad about how I promised to be an angel and that he wouldn't trick or treat without me.” He looked back to Lucifer fondly. “So naturally I just patted his head and told him to go back to sleep, and eventually I fell asleep too.”

Gabriel looked out at the sunset, discontent. The story made sense, it made a lot of sense. And it was all believable-- which made it worse.

Lucifer, still with his head behind his knees, was thinking hard. That story was the perfect lie to make tension grow with Gabriel’s new beliefs-- but the problem was that it wasn't a lie. That all did happen, he did sneak into his room that night. But so what, right? They are close, sue them!

“You two are awfully close, wouldn't you say?” Gabriel asked, though really it wasn't a question up for debate.

“Close as can be.” Michael said, still smiling. Upon noticing Gabriel's raised brow he added: “For siblings, I mean-- for siblings.

The youngest nodded and stood up off the ledge. “Well, I'm going back inside. You guys have fun-- and don't fall off the building.”

“Alright, goodnight.” Michael said with a wave.

“G’night.” Lucifer mumbled.

Gabriel chuckled and then was gone, pretending not to notice the way Michael laced his fingers with Lucifer's.

Lucifer spoke up when the door clanged shut. “You used tongue.”

“I did.”

“You're not a virgin, are you?” Lucifer sighed.

“Nope-- I'm n college, Luce. What did you expect?” He paused, eyeing him up and down. “And something tells me you haven't been that innocent either.”

Lucifer stuck out his tongue. “I'll tell you if you tell me. Guys or girls…?”

Michael looked mildly taken aback. “What? Girls. But I don't think I wouldn't enjoy a dude the same way. I just haven't. Now your turn, and while I don't arrest you for having underage sex I will be very disappointed in you- but don't lie.”

“Honestly, Micah, I've never done anything more intense than a handjob or blowjob.”

“So you're gay…?” Michael asked carefully.

“Yeah, I think so at least.”

“And you never told mom or dad, or me?”

“I never thought I needed to. People don't come out as straight, now do they?” Michael shook his head and Lucifer continued: “I figured I'd just bring home a boyfriend one day, maybe, and then just introduce them like you would with a girl. Now that I think about it, I guess I don't have to bring my first boyfriend home with me…” He grinned.

Michael shoved his side with a laugh. “Oh, you shut up.”

“Speaking of relationships, you in one? Got someone special back at school?”

“No, Lucifer.” He smiled. “And if I did I'm sure they'd be mad about me cheating on them with my own brother.”

Lucifer put on a mask of faux shock. “Your _brother_?! How scandalous!”

“Scandalous my _ass_.” Michael chuckled. “Do remember I have an apartment close to campus, so really anything goes because I own it.” He added with a smirk.

“Ugh, gross, Micah! I do _not_ want to hear about my big brother's sex life!” Lucifer groaned.

“Hey, we can't be keeping too many secrets, what kind of couple would we be then?”

Lucifer shook his head, laughing. “You know, you didn't want to do this, what, fifteen minutes ago? And now here you are, making out with me and going all out.”

Michael gestured to his brother's flushed face. “Well, I've learned I can also embarrass you while pranking Gabe. It's a win win. And I get an excuse to spend more time with you alone. Win win win.”

Spend more time alone with him? What's that supposed to mean? Obviously it must have meant that Michael had a lot to say to him about school, stuff that would bore Raphael and Gabriel… obviously it was that.

Lucifer cleared the air with: “You think we fooled him?”

“Hell yeah, Luce, he kept looking at us like we'd explode or something.”

“That was risky, though. What if you didn't pull away fast enough?”

“Like I said, I have an apartment of my own-- I know when to pull away.” Michael said with a wink.

Groaning, Lucifer held his head in his hands. “Oh that's just wrong, Michael. That's just wrong.”

“Come on, you love me.” Michael teased, wrapping his arms around his brother and pulling him to his lap. He held him with his arms around his chest, so Lucifer still faced away from him and couldn't see Michael's face.

Lucifer might have blushed, but it was already quite dark, so it was well hidden. “Michael Lewis Milton! What in God’s name do you think you're doing!” He cried indignantly.

“Calming you down like I used to, remember?”

“No, no I don't!” Lucifer huffed, squirming a little.

“Really? I used to hold you down until you calmed down a bit, then I'd sit you down in my lap and bounce and tickle you until you cried mercy.” Michael explained, the grin he surely wore clear in his voice.

“ _Oh my God_ , Michael, do _not_ talk like that when I'm in your lap.”

“Oh? How do you want me to talk? More like--” He leaned in closer to Lucifer's neck and dropped his voice to a whisper. “ _Has someone been a naughty little boy?_ ” He finished the sentence with a quick nip at Lucifer's ear.

Lucifer was horrified. “ _Michael_! Oh my God! What are you doing!” He cried, struggling to get free.

“Hush, hush.” Michael said, normally this time. “You'll fall off the roof. And we wouldn't want that, would we.”

Lucifer sighed and relaxed into his brother's arms. “No, I suppose we wouldn't.”

“You really don't remember, though?”

“No, I do. I was embarrassed.”

“So you were lying?”

“ _Micah_ \--”

“You remember what happens when you lied, right? Michael cut in.

“Oh I hate you so much. You and your kinks. I'm kinkshaming, Michael, you're forcing me to kinkshame you.”

“And sassing me only made it worse.” Michael continued. “Mom and dad never did it, but they had me be the one to throw you over my knee and spank you until you apologized.”

Lucifer was clearly blushing now, as he formulated a plan. He turned his head as much as he could, until he could see Michael's face, and then he winked. Michael's smile faltered and Lucifer went in for the kill, leaning in and biting his ear sharply. Michael, as expected, yelped in shock and released his grip, so Lucifer jumped off his lap and off the ledge where he stood proudly.

Michael was laughing now. “Oh, you bastard. That was smart.”

“Hmm, and pushing my buttons wasn't.” Lucifer grinned, motioning for him to stand. “It's getting late, let’s head in and eat, you kinky bastard-- we should also make sure the others are still, you know, alive.”

Michael stood and stretched for a moment. “Yeah, fine. What do we have to eat though?” He asked, joining Lucifer in going down the stairs.

“Pizza, you dingus.” He jabbed the older in the side with his elbow. “Dad ordered it before mom and him went out.”

Michael looked over at him, and, still feeling challenged by Lucifer's move on the roof, he winked.

Lucifer braced himself for-- well, anything, but was pleasantly surprised to find Michael's arm draped around his shoulders, a nice and soothing gesture.

Michael did it because he expected Gabriel to be around the corner when they reached the landing, and he probably was lurking somewhere, maybe even with Raphael, but the two boys couldn't see them.

When they got to the kitchen, they still saw no signs of the others, but the pizza box was open on the counter. Lucifer and Michael shrugged and got paper plates for the food.

“Where should we eat?” Lucifer asked, turning to his brother after grabbing two slices of pizza.

Michael looked up at him, after doing the same thing, and shrugged again. “Upstairs?” He suggested, pretending to not see the two pairs of eyes staring from one of the shadowy halls.

“Sure, why not?” Lucifer beamed, noticing how Michael’s eyes shifted to the hall, then deciding to help suspicions grow by linking arms with him as they started back up the stairs.

“So, how long should I stay with you guys?” Michael asked at the top of the stairs, trying to keep conversation up.

Lucifer frowned as they turned into his room, where they both had silently agreed on going. “As long as you're out of school, I think. I don't see why mom and dad would mind, they're always wanting to leave the house for stuff anyways , so having extra hands on deck would only help their cause.”

The as the closed the door they could clearly hear footsteps in the hall, footsteps that seemed to be trying to be silent.

“I dunno, Luce, we might only get into trouble with each other.” Michael said loudly with a wink.

“Ooh, what kind?” Lucifer purred, winking and holding back his laughter.

Michael reached out and stroked Lucifer's cheek slowly. “Why don't you come over here and find out…” He growled, and the wink he gave was all the warning Lucifer had before he was tossed onto the bed-- _loudly_.

They heard rapid whispers and fleeing footsteps outside the door, where they both watched with matching smiles.

“That was smart, dude. I didn't figure out what you were doing until you did it.” Lucifer whispered.

“Hey, I'm smart sometimes.” Michael chuckled. “Now, let's eat, shall we?”

Lucifer rolled his eyes and made room for his brother on the bed, and Michael brought over both plates from the desk.

Michael looked around the room thoughtfully as he ate. “Well,” he said after a while. “You're room hasn't changed a bit.”

“I haven't felt the need to.” Lucifer replied, shrugging. “But I hope you like it, because you're sleeping with me.”

“I didn't think you were up for sleeping with someone on the first date.” Michael joked. “But seriously, what makes you say that?”

Lucifer raised his eyebrows. “You know that your room is Gabriel's now, and I am not letting you sleep on that lumpy old futon in the living room when you could just sleep with me. It's not like I have a twin bed anymore.”

Michael smiled. “Thank you for the concern, but I remember you as a cuddler. Though you might not even know that.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, you loved it. And yes I do know that, because I'd wake up tangled in your arms, 'cause you always hugged back.”

Michael raised his hands (and pizza) in defeat. “Fine, fine, you got me. Sometimes you looked so cold that I felt like it'd be just evil to not warm you up.”

“Yeah, I'm always pretty cold, but you're always warm, so it works.” Lucifer concluded, setting the empty plate on his nightstand before flopping down on his back with a dramatic exhale.

Michael out his plate in the same place and joined his brother where he lay, side by side and staring up at the ceiling. Lucifer had got a pack of glow in the dark stars when he was younger, and he decided to put them all on the ceiling above his bed. They didn't glow yet, as Lucifer still had the lamp on his nightstand turned on, but when it was dark in the room they glowed green.

Lucifer, as though he could read Michael's mind, reached over to the lamp and flicked it off, covering them in darkness and revealing the array of constellations on his ceiling.

As his eyes adjusted, he could see Lucifer grinning like a child, looking right at him. “What are you so happy about?”

“Remember how proud you were when you helped make real constellations? You were such a nerd. Still are.”

“You're the one who asked me to do it, you dork.”

“Again with the ‘dork’ thing, grow up!”

Michael grinned. “Dork!”

“Nerd!”

“Dork!”

“Nerd!”

Michael sat up quickly, pushing down Lucifer as he tried to sit up too. “ _You! Are! A! Dork!_ ” He cried, punctuating his statement by tickling him hard.

Lucifer gasped and squirmed beneath him, kicking his feet and howling with laughter. “Am not!” He managed.

“Are too! And I won't stop until you admit it!”

“ _Never!_ ”

“Then so be it!” Michael crowed, tickling him even harder while keeping him pinned down on the bed. It went on for so long that Lucifer was properly sobbing out of mirth eventually, his voice going a bit raspy.

“Mercy!” He cried.

“Say it! You have to say it!”

“I'm-- _AGH_ \-- I’m a dor-- _HAHAHA_ \- I’M A DORK!”

Michael halted immediately and dropped back down the bed. “Good.”

“You are an asshole, Michael.” Lucifer grumbled, breathing heavy.

“Yeah, but you love me for it.”

“Something like that.” He sighed before crawling up onto Michael's chest. “And now I'm gonna crush you to death.”

“You're incredibly light, Luce. Wouldn't even kill Gabriel. But do stay here and try.”

“Damn you. I will.” Lucifer grumbled against his shoulder.

“Whatever will I do?” Michael laughed softly.

“Die, I guess. Or sleep. Which is almost the same thing.”

“No it's not, but okay. You sleep.”

“What, no, you're the one sleeping. I'm not even tired.”

“You can't even keep your eyes open.”

Lucifer buried his head against his neck. “No, not true. It's just so dark you can't see properly.”

“It's not even that dark in here, and it is so--” Lucifer _yawned_ , the little prick! “--okay you _literally_ just yawned.”

“Doesn't mean anything.” Lucifer whispered, his body relaxing slowly.

“And,” Michael whispered as well. “You're whispering in your sleepy voice.”

“I don't have a…” he started, but his voice betrayed him.

“Just go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up.”

“You'll be dead because I crushed you.”

“Agree to disagree.” Michael said, smiling. He fidgeted his his legs until he managed to bring the throw blanket up to a place where he could reach it and covered himself (and therefore Lucifer) in the star covered blanket.

Lucifer muttered something, but it was too weak and quiet for Michael to hear, and soon after that his breathing steadied to the even pace of sleep-- so Michael wouldn't ask what he said. He stroked a hand down his back gently, bit to disturb him, thinking all the while. This whole prank wouldn't be too hard, would it? From a young age people had been accusing them of being incestous, most of it was usually the passive aggressive comments of how often they were together or how obscenely close they were. And sure, they were closer than the average set of siblings, but the Winchester boys across the street were the same way, with same age gap, but the oldest was only as old as Lucifer.

So this would be fine. And hey, maybe they'd even become closer after it! At least they'd learn about each other's sex lives-- and Michael was going to debate if that was good or bad in his head, but he too drifted off to sleep. (So when Gabriel and Raphael opened the door to see them lying there, they didn't notice the flash of a camera. Oops.)


	2. Peralta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The younger siblings hatch a plan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lovely reader said they liked Raph and Gabe's approach to the situation at hand, so I decided to make sure they get some good screen time-- hence this chapter and more. Hopefully y'all like this!

G: So we agree I am the reincarnation of Sherlock Holmes???

 

R: No, no we don’t

R: And he wasn’t real

 

G: I outshine even the fictional geniuses

 

R: You remind me of Jake Peralta

 

G: Was he smart???

 

R: Totally

R: Best detective in Brooklyn

 

G: Thank you! But we need to talk about the situation at hand

G: First off, what do you think about all this?

 

R: I thought they were married when we were younger. MARRIED.

 

G: Shouldn’t we be

G: like

G: Repulsed, or something??

 

R: Probably. It wore off six years ago.

 

G: Yeah.

G: Wanna make a bet?

 

R: That’s irresponsible.

R: Please continue.

 

G: I’m willing to bet thirty bucks we can catch them going at it on thursday

 

R: Why Thursday?

 

G: Mom and dad are out, and we are going to a party.

 

R: We are?

 

G: As far as they’ll know, we’ll be gone long into the night.

 

R: You think they’d just let us do that?

 

G: I’ll have you know, a few weeks ago I texted Lucifer asking where he was, and he said he was at a party. I asked him, as a JOKE, if he was doing anything that’d make Jesus sad, he told me he had two dicks in his mouth.

 

R: Bullshit.

 

G: That’s what I said! But he convinced me! With this image he later deleted!

G: (Download One Image File)

 

R: WTF HOW DOES THE HUMAN MOUTH STRETCH LIKE THAT

 

G: I KNOW

 

R: AND HE’S SMILING???   
  
G: SMILING, WINKING, AND GIVING A THUMBS UP

G: WITH TWO DICKS IN HIS MOUTH

 

R: OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS RIGHT HAND

 

G: HE’S JERKING ANOTHER GUY. I’M GONNA CRY

 

R: AND YOU CAN SEE SOMEONE ELSE HAS A HAND ON HIS CROTCH

 

G: OMG

 

R: GABE WHY DID YOU SAVE THE PICTURE

 

G: BLACKMAIL. IT’S ONLY FOR BLACKMAIL. 

 

R: AWKSKWKSKKSNDJSUYEUC

 

B: wait wtf is going on with you lot

B: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT PICTURE DOING HERE

B: ISN'T THAT YOUR BROTHER

 

G: BALTHAZAR??? HOW ARE YOU HERE???

 

B: THIS IS A GROUP CHAT YOU SENTIENT DOOR KNOB

 

R: YOU TWO SHUSH I THINK I HEARD THE DOOR OPEN

 

B: WOMAN THIS IS NOT A VERBAL CONVERSATION

 

R: I CAN'T THINK IF YOU ARE ALL SHOUTING. LET ME THINK OR SO HELP ME GOD

 

B: yes ma’am.

 

*two minuets pass*

 

G: I see Luci!

 

R: What’s happening!

 

B: Spill! I read it all so spill!

 

G: Lucifer is shirtless and I don't know why??

 

B: TBH he doesn't need a reason

B: Neither of you will admit it because he's your older brother

B: But I know

 

G: I wasn't going to object, Balthy.

G: I have eyes.

 

B: I guess every apple from the Milton tree has eyes for Old Scratch

 

R: I don't

 

G: Michael does

 

B: And your parents aren't around enough to even use their eyes in the lot of you’s general direction

 

R: but still I don't

 

G: How risky is it if I try and get a video of whatever the fuck is happening

 

B: Well that depends on what's happening

B: If Lucifer's shirtless your might as well

 

R: So you like him too now?

 

B: Nah, too old. But I, like Gabey, have eyes.

 

R: If we're all being honest. Then fine. I'll admit, he looks good.

 

B: AHA! I will NEVER let you forget this

 

R: Do you like having eyes, Balthazar? Because I will not hesitate to take them from you. Bitch.

 

B: Eyes are eh. But, you could always just take my virginity… ;)

 

G: HOLY FATHER IN HEAVEN

G: THIS IS NOT A CONVERSATION WE ARE HAVING

 

B: Relax, Gabey. I was only joking.

 

R: You better have been.

 

B: And I'm not even a virgin so, you snooze you lose. Bitch.

 

G: Lucifer is just?? Sitting on the table??

 

B: Shirtless?

 

G: …

 

B: It's valid and important info

 

G: He is. And he keeps looking down at his phone.

G: He’s texting

G: I think

 

R: Probably

 

G: He smiled and put it down?

G: Michael's here!

 

R: Shirtless?

 

B: Shirtless??

 

G: Oh God, there's two of you. Does it really matter

 

R: Yes, if they walk out of the bedroom for the first time MIDDAY shirtless, that's saying something.

R: Also we didn't see them fall asleep half naked...

 

B: that sounds like a great excuse to use and I

definitely was asking for such a reason.  

 

G: Yes he is. Weirdos. 

 

R: Either one of them blushing?

 

G: I dunno

G: No?

G: Luc is glowing tho

 

B: Normal Glow or Orgasm Glow

 

G: wtf

 

R: it’s important

 

G: i don’t know what orgasm high Lucifer would look like so I can’t help

 

B: Then let’s analyze

 

G: ???

 

B: well we need to figure out what That Face looks like

 

R: so we need to know if he’s a top or bottom

 

G: Words cannot describe how much I hate you

G: But I think I know

 

B: SPILL   
  


G: No I wanna hear what you guys guess

 

R: well Michael is too “macho” to be a bottom

R: But Lucifer is an asshole

 

B: Are you suggesting that Lucifer is a bottom or that Michael is a dominant bottom

 

R: Dominatrix.

 

B: ooooh

 

G: WRONG

 

B: Lucifer is NOT a bottom

 

R: Yeah I’m not buying your bs “facts”

 

G: You didn’t hear them yet

G: Also did you forget that our BOTTOM older brother had two guys in his moUTH AT ONCE

 

B: Obviously he was being a tease and driving them crazy because he’s the one in control

 

G: Oh im sure he was driving them crazy

G: because he was taking it like tHE LITTLE BOTTOM BITCH THAT HE IS

 

B: YOU HAVE NO PROOF!

 

G: OBJECTION: FUCK YOU

G: (Download One Image File)

 

B: dear lord i keep trying to unsee this

B: okay okay maybe you have a point

 

R: Let’s keep talking so the picture will be forced out of my sight

 

R: what’s your other proof anyways

 

G: now it’s two things

G: One: Mike slapped Luce’s ass so hard I’m surprised u didn’t hear it

 

B: Doesn’t prove he’s a bottom

 

G: I thought you believed me???

 

B: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

G: OKAy well the cherry on top is that thE CHERRY GOT POPPED and THAT FUCKER HASN’T TOPPED

 

R: NEVER SPEAK EVER AGAIN   
R: also that’s not evidence that’s your claim

 

G: Michael’s back is scratched up. And by the way Lucifer was sitting, his ass hurts too bad to sit

 

R: damn

 

B: I mean that doesn’t mean they had sex

 

R: ???

 

B: Lucifer is a tease. Doesn’t seem like the guy to sleep with someone that fast

 

G: True

 

B: So Lucifer sat on Michael’s lap and that’s what went down

 

G: Now I’m gonna dream of Lucifer giving various other hot people lap dances so thx

G: wait Lucifer texted me

G: Oh it’s lunch? I need to go downstairs

 

B: Text us the details

 

G: It’s lunch…?

 

B: If your such a great detective you’ll find something to tell us

 

R: that kind of “your” has an e

 

B: sorry. I meant yore.

 

R: Also Gabe if u were a good detective you’d know I’m not even at home rn

 

G: WHAT. BUT I’M PERALTA!   
  


R: My point exactly

 

G: ???

G: Anyways where r u??

 

R: With Anna

R: Btw she’s seen all of this so I’m adding her to the chat

 

(Raphael added Anna Milton to the chat)

 

A: Hey little cousin

A: And Balthy

 

G: Anna u r barely older than me

 

A: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

A: Tell Luci and Mikey that we’re coming over

 

G: GOOD because if u don’t theyll end up coming over each other

 

A: Twisted. I like it.

 

R: I don’t so let’s go

 

G: Balthy u better get ur Brit Butt over here too

 

B: Dude I’m at my mum’s house so I’m like 30 min away

 

G: So?

 

B: Ugh fine I’m coming

 

G: HEY WAIT

 

R: WHAT

 

B: WHAT   
  
A: WHAT

 

G: so remember last Christmas 

G: Raphie and Anna, I mean 

 

R: yeah…?

 

G: I got Mikey that Gorillaz shirt right??

 

A: Yeah, I took you shopping to get it

 

G: First of all you make it sound like you drove me there but you were only 15 so you couldn’t drive legally

G: You shoved me on your bike

 

A: Irrelevant

 

G: He took it when back to school, and i know because I facetimed him once and he had it on

G: And well Lucifer’s wearing it now

G: Just saying

 

B: >;)

 

A:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	3. Wash Your Hands, Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened when Michael in Lucifer woke up? AKA proving Balthazar's theory to be incorrect or correct.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all have been leaving comments and I'm sjhjiuytfvbnmku. This work got called "iconic" and thats some fuckin ego boost man. Also, a few people said they liked it and that makes mE SO HAPPY, I LIVE TO SERVE LMAO but seriously, everyone who commented/comments are absolute angels and I'm incredibly honored to hear such kind things. Love you all!

“Hey. Hey.  _ Hey _ .” Michael poked Lucifer’s cheek. “If you don’t wake up right now I’m gonna tickle you.”

 

   Lucifer raised his head off Michael’s chest slowly, the fog of sleep still shrouding his gaze. “Don’ ‘chu fuckin’ dare.”

 

   “Well it’s a good thing you woke up, isn’t it?” Michael chuckled. “Also, you didn’t crush me to death. You are, however, clinging to me like a koala.

 

   “You have no proof.” The tired boy grumbled.

 

   “Objection, look at yourself.”

 

   “Objection, fuck you.”

 

   Michael laughed again as Lucifer flopped off him and back on the bed. “Sounds like something Gabe would say.

 

   Lucifer was waking up more and more. “Speaking of which,” He sighed. “How much are you willing to bet that our dear brother and sister peeked in the room last night?”

 

   “A lot, a whole damn lot.”

 

   “So we need to stage something, but I’m too tired to think of what to do.”   
  


   “I’m not.” Said Michael, sitting up. “Take ‘em off.”

 

   “Take what off?”

 

   “Oh, I’ll just do it for you, you dingus.”   
  


   Lucifer tried to say something but ended up just kinda yelping as his shirt was pulled up above his head, subsequently restraining his arms and blindfolding him, and his shorts yanked totally off. Yes, he was wearing boxers, but that’s still embarrassing enough!

 

   “Chill out, I’m not taking those off you. That’s for a later date.” Michael laughed, pulling the shirt off his brothers head and tossing it to the floor.

 

   Lucifer was a blushing mess, and his frazzled hair didn’t help the heat that may or may not have been growing in Michael’s stomach. “Damn right, not until you buy me dinner.” He joked.

 

  Did Lucifer bite his lip a little bit when Michael took off his shirt? Maybe. Probably. Not that he’d ever tell a living soul. “Okay… so what are you planning on doing, anyway?”   
  


  Michael might have been a bit pink, but it was still pretty dark in the room. “Do you trust me?”

 

  “To an extent.”

 

   “And you’ll tell me to stop if you need me to?   
  


   “Jesus, Mike,  _ yes _ .”

 

   He persisted. “Stoplight system?”

 

   “Yes!” Lucifer hissed.

  
   “I’ll get after you for how you know what that is later,” Michael sighed. “But for now, come here.”

 

   Lucifer began to sit up, but Michael, ever so impatient, didn’t hesitate to pull the younger up and onto his lap.

 

   Michael stared deep into his brother’s eyes. “I’m gonna tell you what I’m gonna do before it happens, so you have time to tap out.”

 

   “Thanks for the sentiment, but that’d drag this on longer than it needs to be. So just do it.”

 

   Michael shrugged, but wasted no time, his hands snaking down the Lucifer’s waistband. “Put your hands on my shoulders, hold on.”

 

   Lucifer practically flung himself forward, wrapping his arms around the older, who he hoped didn't see him blushing like a child.

 

   Michael smiled, though Lucifer was too busy questioning his sanity to be focused on that, and he brought one hand up to the the other’s smooth back. “Okay, Luce, you're gonna scratch up my back, starting low, and I'm gonna leave a few marks on your hips.”

 

   Lucifer nodded quickly, because he really didn't trust his voice to stay steady. He coughed a bit.  “Problem, I can't really reach low on your back.”

 

   “Right, okay,” Michael paused. “I'm gonna bounce you up. That'll work even better, actually.”

 

    Lucifer actually whimpered a note, but he'd take anyone to court for it and he'd plead innocent. God damn it, this was not something to feel literally anything other than disgust about, and, yeah, he was telling his dick that, but when has that ever fucking helped?!

 

   Michael was slightly alarmed. No, this wasn’t something he wasn't used to, though he'd never even really considered doing it with a guy. But this was his  _ brother _ . And that should have made him stop in his tracks, but his-- meat scepter, as his mother (Becky) had called it when he was eleven-- was getting more and more… scepter-y… as time went by. Lucifer wasn't having such a problem-- ¡obviamente! He started to bounce the younger faster, hoping that it’d be less obvious that way. So he had two problems: His growing erection, y su pobre español.

 

  Lucifer felt even more embarrassed, as Michael sped up and the brief friction grew maddening, but, okay, it also made him more aroused. Which is a bad thing. Shit. Michael must have realized that he was getting hard, that’s why he sped up the pace, right? OBVIAMENTE.

 

   After an uncomfortable five-or-so-minutes of scratching and awkward not-quite-moan-gasps, (from Lucifer, the hoe) Michael decided that enough was enough. His back was rightfully burning and Lucifer’s waist was littered with indents and purple bruises. He let Lucifer back down-- right onto his lap, right onto--

 

   Oh holy fucking shit. Lucifer found himself staring Michael dead in the eyes, in a daze, seated directly against his… yeah. “Ohh…” Lucifer tried to say, but, really, he just ended up moaning it. And that really didn’t help Michael’s situation.

 

   Michael felt himself blushing, for once. “Jesus-- I--”

 

   “Pretty sure I… pretty sure I’m still Satan.”

 

   Michael bit his cheek. “Should I-- should I move, or something?”   
  
   “NO!” Lucifer hissed. “If you move in… any way… I’m gonna… oh God…”

 

   “Still only ‘he who is like God,’ sorry.”

 

   Lucifer looked down. “If I laugh, I might actually cum in my boxers, so… so don’t.”

 

   Michael frowned. “Same.” He paused. “Maybe that’s gonna have to happen. You cover yourself with a hand, fall of me, and I’ll cover myself and sit back.”

 

  “Just…” Lucifer looked oddly small in the dim light. “...don’t watch me, when I… you know.”

 

  “Of course. Let’s count to five… in our heads. And then we move, okay?”

 

   Lucifer nodded, and the timer started.

 

   1...2...3...4...5

 

   Michael moved a bit too fast, just as Lucifer did, so it messed everything up. Michael grabbed Lucifer, who yelped and fell back on the bed, and in the mess, Lucifer grabbed Michael, who panicked and ended up falling onto Lucifer. Which also meant he couldn’t look away from the younger as he arched up and kinda screamed. Honestly, he probably wouldn’t have been able to look away anyways.

 

    “FUCK!” Lucifer shouted, his face bright red.

 

    “GABRIEL OR RAPHAEL’S GONNA HEAR!”

 

    Lucifer slapped a hand over his open mouth, which happened to be the same hand Michael came all over. So that hand. That hand covered his mouth. That hand covered his open mouth. It was dripping. Into. His. MOUTH. He was so horrified that he kinda gasped, but really he just ended up swallowing it.

 

   “OH FUCK!” Michael screamed. “YOU SWALLOWED IT!”

 

   “I KNOW! IT’S AS SALTY AS YOU ARE!”

 

   Michael’s horror facade crumbled as he began to laugh. Harder, harder, (is this allowed? After what happened?) until he was all but cackling. Lucifer, even in shock, began to laugh too.

 

   Lucifer sat up, still blushing and looking a bit out of it. “We should probably eat… I’ll put on some shorts, bring out a shirt for me, though. I bet Gabriel is lurking somewhere.”

 

   “Cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt, no doubt.” Said Michael, standing up and looking around the dark room.

 

   “Did I break you, Micha?” Lucifer teased.

 

   “Lulu, you just drank my cum. I’m feeling a lot of things. (None of them being arousal, lust, desire, jealousy. None of them. Not a single one. Totally.)

 

   “Agh. I need sustenance.” Lucifer groaned, stepping into a pair of shorts that might not have been his. Who knows.

 

  “Alright, Whore, Son of Odin.”

 

  “Alright, Mikey, Son of That Big Blue Bastard.”

 

  “Bruce from Nemo?”

 

   “Bruce is not a bastard, you salty-cumming brotherfucker.”

 

  “Brotherfu-- LUCIFER!”

 

   But Lucifer was out the door. And yeah, Gabriel was hiding a ways back, and Michael was texting Luce dirty jokes. Also, Lucifer’s ass really, really hurt. 

 

         Oh well, day two, over. Tuesday would be great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the rating goes up, and my remaining dignity goes down. Hallelujah!


	4. Cottage Cheese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just. What the fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw this is set at lunch, after Gabriel was texting.

Gabriel eyed the pair quietly for about five minutes before speaking. “So, Anna is coming over. With Raphael. Also Balthazar.”

Michael, who was trying to cut a tomato, grinned. “Cool!”

Lucifer, who was giving Michael emotional support, smiled a little less wide. Not that he wasn't happy though. “Micah, aren't you on… weird terms with Anna?” He said with a raised brow.

Michael waved his hand to dismiss the idea. “No, we ran into each other a few months back, we’re good now. Mainly I'm excited to see Alfie, because wherever she goes, Alfie goes.”

From the table, Gabriel was trying to keep his cool. “You like kids, huh? Want some of your own?”

“What? Yeah. I guess.”

“Met any nice girls? Ones to bring home?”

Michael chuckled weakly. “Bringing home any girl to our father is only a way to end a relationship. I don't plan on bringing any girls home.”

Gabriel was cracking. “No girls? Mikey, are you trying to tell me you're--”

The doorbell cut him off. Saved by the god damn bell. 

“wOW WE HAVE COMPANY LET’S WELCOME THEM INTO THIS HIGH FUNCTIONING HOUSE WHERE LEGAL AFFAIRS NEVER DWELL!” Michael cried before running to the foyer.

At the door was exactly who it should be. Not a hooded dude with a gun-- Riverdale is SHAKING.

“Michael! What a surprise!” Raphael shouted, mocking shock as she walked into her house.

“Raph, you live here. You knew I was here.”

“Did I?”

“This is not up for debate.”

Anna greeted him with a warm smile, and so did Alfie, who was hanging out in the baby bjorn that Anna had on. “Great to see you again, cuz!” She said, high-fiving him and walking in as well.

Balthazar look Michael over briefly. “You've changed, old man.” He said with a smirk.

Michael rolled his eyes playfully. “Get in here, you idiot.”

Everyone talked in the hall for a while before going back to the kitchen, where Lucifer stood at the counter next to the mauled tomato that had started leaking red juice at some point. He looked hazy.

As everyone but Michael sat down in their seats, and high chair, respectively, the oldest Milton turned to Lucifer to ask what was wrong. All attention fell to him.

“Well.” Lucifer started, a tiny bit sloppy in speech. “Well, Michael jumped when the doorbell rang…”

“Anna cocked her head. “Yeah? What about it?”

Lucifer cleared his throat as he looked at the tomato. “Short story short I have an odd number of fingers now.” He drawled, holding up hair left hand to show the bloodied stump where the pinkie, arguably the least important finger, should be. 

Everyone started screaming. Chairs were knocked the the ground. Alfie spilled cheerios. Anna was on the floor. Gabriel was on the table. Raphael and Balthazar were hugging. All this while screaming. Lucifer said, though no one heard, “Why are you guys screaming, y'all have ten fingers.” Michael had picked Lucifer up at some point and then started sprinting for the door. 

The rest of the company recovered and followed the very clear screams of “WHAT THE FUCK” all the way to Michael’s car. Everyone piled in and they started off the hospital. (It didn't need saying, no one, except maybe Alfie, thought that they were going to fucking Six Flags.)

About two minutes into the silent drive Anna spoke. “Are you drunk?”

Lucifer nodded. “Tequila was next to the tomato. I lost the finger and lost my head too apparently.”

“Why the hell is tequila just laying around in the house?!”

“Have you ever met your uncle, Anna?” The car was silent. Lucifer shifted. “Hey wait what about my fucking finger.”

“FUCK.” Michael swerved the car into a driveway and sped off back home, where he ran into like a madman before returning with a container of cream cheese.

“You got cheese, Mike, am I full of cheese or something?”

“YOU’RE FULL OF SHIT! I LOVE YOU BUT BUCKLE UP! THE FINGER IS IN THE EMPTY CONTAINER.” Michael hissed, before he actually sped to the hospital. 

\---

The waiting room was hell. Michael all but threatened the poor man behind the counter, and Anna had ran off to do something, which left Lucifer sitting on the ground with a bloody napkin and a toddler to watch. Alfie was unfazed, really, as was the tipsy and shocked Lucifer. They were playing Avengers, or something. It was fun at first, but as Alfie couldn't really talk, it made the situation a lot harder.

“No, no, no, Alfie, Thor.” Lucifer kept saying.

The boy only laughed and kept pointing at his older cousin, shouting. “Whore! Whore! Whore!”

“Jesus, Samandriel, stop slut shaming me.” Lucifer groaned, poking the boy’s nose.

Michael sulked over eventually and wrapped his arms around his brother. “Looks like he's already smarter than his sister.” He said, earring him a light slap from Anna, who had snuck back in at some point.

Lucifer got ahold of the container and opened it with a cry. “What the fuck! There's a finger in here!”

Michael snatched the bin and sealed in before placing it behind him. “You drunk bitch, that's your own finger. I hate you.”

“You don't hate me that contradicts everything you proved yesterday.”

Michael cringed. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Gabriel and Raphael were trying hard not to smile. 

Lucifer winked. “Remember on the roof when-- MPH!” Lucifer found his mouth covered by Michael’s hand, really smooth, Michael, nothing suspicious about that, Michael.

The oldest Milton looked up at the four smirking teenagers. “We had a personal heart to heart. He's being weird about it.” He lied through gritted teeth.

Balthazar nudged Gabriel. “More like a cock to cock…” he whispered. 

Lucifer had just started licking his captor’s hand when a lady walked into the waiting room.

“Lucifer Milton?”

Lucifer stood up, fell over a chair, then stood up and held Michael’s hand. What the fuck was happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear lord.


	5. Morse Code

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some drama ahead...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I SAID ID UPDATE SOONER BUT I HAD TO WRITE A FIC WITH A DUE DATE SORRY  
> THE NEXT UPDATE SHOULD BE KINDA SORTA SOON

    It was mid evening when they got back home, and Lucifer, with his pinkie attached and drugs in his system, was having some issues. High and giddy, he kept nearly spilling his secret. The rest of the family (and Balthazar) were watching Megamind in the living room as the two older Milton boys talked quietly in the kitchen.

“So, Mikey, we made it through today flawlessly.”

“Our plan worked, yes, but you lost your fucking finger.”

“Did not.” Lucifer grumbled. “It's right here.”

Michael burst out laughing, as Lucifer pouted.

“Don't laugh at me! It hurt!”

Michael wiped a tear from his eye. “I know, I'm not making fun of you.” Lucifer didn't believe him. “Lulu, you know I love you.”

“Am I your favorite sibling?”

“You know I can't say that. If it's any better, you're my favorite person.”

Lucifer grinned wide and threw himself at Michael limply, who caught him with laugh. “Thank you, Micha. You're my favorite person too.”

“Am I really?”

Lucifer hugged him still but pulled away enough to look at his brother’s face. “It's been so long since I've been able to hold you like this. Since you've been able to hold me, rather. I missed you. I missed you terribly.”

Michael swallowed thickly. “You're not going to remember any of this, are you?”

Lucifer shrugged. “I can barely remember the hospital. It all feels like a dream.”

“Good.” Michael whispered, and Lucifer was going to ask something but Michael was quick, kissing him gently on the lips. He prayed Lucifer would forget-- it'd be hard to make up a reason for this.

As Michael pulled away, he saw Gabriel coming around the corner. More importantly, Lucifer's eyes were teary. “Michael?” He said softly. “Why'd you have to leave me?” His voice cracked into nothing and the tears fell down his cheeks.

Gabriel didn't move, thinking he was hidden.

Michael opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he couldn't. Lucifer ran off in a mess of silent tears, his footsteps loud on the stairs as he bolted, and his door slammed upstairs.

Gabriel walked into the light. “What'd you do?” He asked, not in a rude way, but not in a sarcastic way either.

“We were talking, and he's high, and he hates our father and he hates that I left him. That I left all of you.” Michael said slowly. “I said something I shouldn't have. He’ll be okay. He's been through hell-- and a good lot of that's my own damn fault.

“You're not responsible for how dad acts, Mike.”

“But I left Lucifer. And we left on very bad terms, Gabe. I left him to face father alone, to protect you guys, alone-- when he needed me most.”

  
At this point the rest of the group was listening in, by the walls and around corners. Michael didn't care.

Gabriel shook his head. “He's never hurt us. Just yelled. It's okay.”

Michael laughed dryly. “You don't remember what he did?”

Gabriel’s mouth went dry. He only remembered bits.

“Lucifer came into my room after being with father. He smelled strongly of whiskey, not that he'd been drinking, rather, dad spilled it all over him. Slammed his face down into the desk while holding a knife at his back. Lucifer laughed weakly and smiled as i dropped my book. He looked me, dizzy, in the eyes and he said something I've never forgotten. ‘Finally broke my fucking halo.’ He said.” Michael looked the younger in the eye. “He never hurt anyone, because Lucifer made sure to push him.”

Gabriel couldn't find words. No one could. Except Michael. “I need to go talk with him. Or just hold him. Whatever happens, I bid you all goodnight. I hope father’s absent once again tonight.” And with that, he disappeared up the stairs.

\----

Lucifer's door was locked, and the lights had to be off. Michael could hear, when he leaned up against the door, the muffled sobs probably going into a pillow.

Michael didn't call out to him. They'd fought enough for him to understand how to calm him down-- just don't engage, sometimes. This was one of times, he knew it. The poor boy had had a rough day, he was still hurt about Michael leaving, he was always pissed at their father, and he lost his goddamn finger for a little bit. Michael knew he shouldn't have kissed him like that-- without real reason, without thought. He only kissed him because he wanted to, and that terrified him. This was all supposed to be a joke, a stupid joke for there little brother and sister.

He didn't know Morse code fluently, but he did know some key phrases. If either of them had a bad day and couldn't sneak to the other’s room, they'd tap on the walls to console each other. Still, just in case, he pulled up a translator he could type Lucifer's codes into. He knocked a familiar pattern on the door.

.. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--  
(I’M SORRY)

Lucifer came to the door, still gasping and crying softly. He answered.

..-. ..- -.-. -.- / -.-- --- ..-  
(FUCK YOU)  
..-. ..- -.-. -.- / -.-- --- ..-  
(FUCK YOU)  
..-. ..- -.-. -.- / -.-- --- ..-  
(FUCK YOU)

Well, at least Lucifer's opinions were clear, and his wits were coming back.

Michael brought his knees to his chest.

... --- .-. .-. -.--  
(SORRY)  
.. .----. -- /... --- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--  
(I’M SO SORRY)

Lucifer couldn't bear to say it, not in any way, shape, or form. He made die with the words he knew, and the ones he wouldn't hate himself for saying.

.... .- - .  
(HATE)

He said.

.-.. --- ...- .  
(LOVE)

.-- .... -.-- / -.-- --- ..-  
(WHY YOU[?])

.-- .... -.-- / -.-- --- ..-  
(WHY YOU[?])

Lucifer fled back to where he came from.

Michael didn't care if he could hear him anymore.

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-  
(I LOVE YOU)

Lucifer only cried harder.

\----

Hours later, Lucifer opened his door-- and Michael fell inside on his back, barely waking up. Lucifer smiled weakly. “Fuck you.” He whispered, dragging Michael on the carpet to the bed. “Can you get up?” Michael only grunted.

Lucifer flipped him off lazily but grabbed his pillows and blanket, grabbing the comforter at the foot of his bed as well to use as bedding. With that laid out, he rolled his brother onto it, onto a pillow, before joining his him with the soft blanket.

“I'm sorry.” Michael whispered. “I was just--”

Lucifer stopped him. “Don't. Just say you love me, nerd.” He smiled.

Michael poked him on the nose. “Okay, I love you, and I'm sorry-- dork.”

The pair laughed at that for a while, laughed at things they wouldn't tell the other, and they were just glad to be back together. Lucifer fell asleep first.

“I'll never leave you ever again.” Michael promised under his breath. “Never again.”

For a moment, he forgot about college. The only thing that mattered then was Lucifer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know that this is kinda sappy and I've said it before but iM SAYING IT AGAIN. Y'all are angels. Those of you who read it? Angels. Those who leave kudos? Angels. Those who leave comments? ABSOLUTE ANGELS. I'm serious, the comments I've gotten on this odd fic of mine have literally been helping me out emotionally and physically. Mental illness has been kicking my ass recently, my meds aren't working yet, and sometimes I feel like I'm worthless. But you all have helped me combat that, and I can never thank you enough for that. I think it's the least I can do to update more frequently, I've actually taken my teacher's advice and made a story mountain page, so I've got most of it planned out already. Again, even if you think that you're not affecting me by just reading, you are. Thank you all for making me feel better about myself, I'm very thankful for y'all. This is a kinda speech I might give when I end this fic but, trust me, we got ways to go. Love y'all! <3


	6. Bad Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KINDA short chapter but I wanted to get some content out annnnnd also just a heads up the next chapter is gonna be full of references, including the names of anyone who has left a comment because idk I love y'all so much. It's gonna be low key enough for it to be pretty normal in the chapter, but you should see it!

When Michael woke up, Lucifer was missing. That was always alarming to the older Milton because Lucifer, despite being called the angel of the morning, was not a morning person at all. Michael always had to force him up under threats of pulling off sheets. It usually ended up with a very cold Lucifer and a very smug Michael.

“Lucifer?” He called, softly, but loud enough that he felt Lucifer could probably hear him. There was no answer. “Lucifer?”

Michael was about to sit up when the door opened. Lucifer was there, looking mildly concerned. “I found this on the porch,” he said. “Is it a bomb? Anthrax? Do I open it?” Michael looked down at the box in his brother’s hands. It was a normal box, but someone had scrawled ‘For Lucifer’ on the top.

“It's probably from mom, knowing her. Open it.” Michael said with a slight sigh.

Lucifer frowned but got to his knees to tear the box open. There was a lot of bubble wrap, not much else. Until he spotted something bright red. “Oh my lord.” Lucifer groaned. “Tell me that is not what I fucking think it is.”

Michael leaned closer. “Luce, what is it?”

Lucifer threw bubble wrap into the air. “Jesus! Fucking! Christ!” He all but screamed.

A small card came whizzing at Michael's head. He looked at it, puzzled, and nearly cried.

Lucifer-  
Soooo I got you this becuz I thought you might be lonely. ;) Miss you!  
Mommy xoxoxoxoxo

Michael looked up to see what he expected, Lucifer, who turned as the same color as the fire truck red dildo in his hand. He looked like he wanted to die right then and there. Michael burst out laughing so hard that he fell right back down onto the makeshift bed and cried.

Lucifer smacked his brother on the shin. “Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP.” He hissed.

“OH MY GOD, MOM GOT YOU A SEX TOY!” Michael shrieked, flailing around on the floor like a disgruntled fish.

“DON’T YELL THAT, YOU BITCH!”

Michael calmed down after a little bit, he sat back up. “Jesus fuck, I have an idea.”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes. “What…?”

“We go out for a nice family outing, and you wear that all day.” Michael said with a wicked grin.

“NO. That's BULLSHIT.” Lucifer scowled.

Michael leaned in close, dropping his voice to whisper right in Lucifer's ear. “You're telling me that you aren't even a little curious? That you don't wanna feel what it's like to be filled for hours on end?”

Lucifer slapped him with the dick. “Fucking fuck you. I fucking hate you and if you're not dressed when I get done changing I swear to fucking god you'll learn what it's like to have a silicon dick down your throat.” He got up, snatched clothes from the dresser and disappeared into the bathroom.

Michael laughed silently, leaning over and peering into the box. There was a small silver thing at the bottom-- a sticker, maybe, but Michael wanted to make sure of it. He dig into the bubble wrap and pulled it out. It was a little box, with three buttons, a power button, a plus sign, and a minus sign. Michael almost screamed. It was a vibrator, Lucifer was in there with a vibrator and he didn't even know. He almost called out to him, to tell him he forgot it, but that didn't seem fun. And Michael? Michael wanted to have some real fun with his baby brother.

You can wear jeans two days in a row, right? Right. At least Michael decided it was. He threw on a new shirt and pocketed the remote, just as Lucifer opened the door.

The younger Milton was pink in the face, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and standing with shaking legs. “So.” He said with a trembling voice. “Where are we going?”

“Besides Hell, you mean?”

“I always knew I'd go to hell. Got the fitting name too. But yeah now you're coming with me.”

Michael smiled. “It wouldn't be Heaven without you anyways.”

Lucifer swallowed a series of words he'd regret. “That’s a very sweet thing to say to someone, you know. I don't know how you don't already have a girlfriend, but remember that quote for whenever you do.” He said, refusing to meet his brother’s gaze.

Michael bit his tongue. “Anyways, I was thinking the mall. Good way to waste time, and we can eat lunch there too.”

“Good.” Lucifer nodded. “Dad called me and said, though a lot more explicit and horrible, he won't be home for a while. Couple of days at least. So I was thinking I'd make pasta for everyone, that sound good?”

“Of course, just don't burn the house down.” Michael teased. He opened the door to the hall and gestured out. “Shall we?”

“We shall. The kids are dressed. Anna and Balthy too, they fell asleep here last night. I'm not as fond of Alfie as I once was, he keeps calling me a whore for some reason, I'll ask him why-- but he can come too. We can't just leave him here.”

Michael snickered and walked into the hall. “Great time to ask why you're a whore, while you have a toy up your ass.”

Lucifer nearly pushed Michael down the rest of the stairs while they walked down. He cleared his throat when they reached the last step. “Hey, kids, get your shit, we're being a good family.”

Balthazar poked up from the couch. “First off I'm not technically family, and don't swear in front of the baby!”

“You are a the golden retriever of this damn family and that baby calls me a whore so it's fucking fine!”

Gabriel was smiling. “Luce, the only one who’d wear a collar and call someone master is you.”

Lucifer nearly exploded. “Gabriel I fucking swear to God do not--OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” Lucifer fell to his knees and covered his face.

Gabriel kneeled next to him. “DUDE ARE YOU OKAY??”

“IM FINE.” Lucifer panted, not seeming fine at all. “NEVER BEEN BETTER.”

Michael had pressed the power button.

Lucifer looked up at his younger brother. “You kids go get in the car, okay? I'll be there in a minute.

The family looked worried (except Alfie, who kept giggling and saying “whore!”) as they exited. Michael stayed behind and clicked the vibrator off.

Lucifer got to his feet and saw how hard Michael was laughing, and then he snapped. “This was a bad fucking idea, what the fuck was that, I’m going to fucking pop a boner in front of my only sane family.” He basically wheezed.

Michael flashed the remote at him. He pressed the button discreetly. Lucifer gasped and bit down on his lip to keep from embarrassing himself more.

Lucifer flipped him off. “You can do that when we’re alone but don’t you DARE doing that in front of everyone, or I will kill you, Michael.”

“You’re in no place to be making threats, boy.” Michael growled and clicked it back on. Lucifer’s knees buckled and he nearly fell. “And that’s ‘sir’ to you.”

“I put the goddamn toy in, I didn’t snap your neck for turning it on, I am not calling you sir.” Lucifer gasped.

Michael pouted and pressed the plus sign, watching his brother cry out and drop to the floor.

Lucifer snapped. “FUCK! I’m sorry, sir, just turn that fucking thing off PLEASE!” He yelped.

His older brother pretended to think about it before finally doing it and starting to laugh. He helped Lucifer up and smiled at the glare he got. It would be a fun car ride.

\---

A: I’m pretty sure Lucifer just called SOMEONE “sir”

G: Someone?

B: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

R: ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AO3 kinda killed the faces at the end but oh well. Also one of y'all might have spotted a hint of the set up for your reference ooooo


	7. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys (and two girls) drive to the mall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied oops next chapter will be full of references for y'all's account names.

Anna had stolen the keys to the jeep, and she sat grinning in the driver’s seat. Balthazar was sitting shotgun, Raphael and Gabriel sat in the back, and Alfie was in a pumpkin seat on the floor. That left one seat open.

“Looks like you'll have to sit on Michael's lap, Luci!” Anna giggled.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Fine. It's not like I'm not used to it.”

The car collectively held in fits of laughter.

Michael say down and patted his lap. “C’mere boy!” He called with a little whistle.

Lucifer flipped him off but obliged. “I might be a bitch, but I'm not a dog.”

Trying to get the seatbelt on was a mess, but it happened. (Don't try this at home, kids.) and with that, they were off.

Anna opened the cd drive (how old was this car?) and rummaged through the glove compartment of cds when they got to a red light. (To be fair, it might have been easier to walk to the mall, it really was just down the block.) “Jesus, Luci. Didn't know you were a goth bitch.”

“What? I like punk rock!” Lucifer huffed.

Gabriel appeared to gag on his own throat. “Did you just say punk cock?!”

“Don't use that word and no, I said punk rock.”  
Lucifer reprimanded. “Although your version wouldn't really be wrong.”

Everyone burst out laughing. Gabriel turned red from wheezing and struggled to speak. “Wait, you're gay?”

“Dude, I sent you a fucking picture with like two dicks in my mouth while jacking off another guy and getting touched by a different guy. I think you knew.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!” Michael screeched, being the only one who didn't know. “AND WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SEND IT TO YOUR BABY BROTHER?”

Lucifer pecked Michael on the temple. “You're just just jealous I didn't send it to my older brother, aren't you?”

Michael raised his eyebrows. “Bitch.”

“I wasn't planning on sending it, I was drunk, Gabe asked me what I was doing, I told him, he didn't believe me, and apparently I decided to send it!” Lucifer explained with a sigh. “I'm sorry, okay?”

Anna managed to park the car without killing anyone, and Michael muttered his reply. “You're gonna be sorry…”

The car fell silent. Michael realized exactly what he did as soon as he felt Lucifer go rigid on his lap.

Lucifer couldn't find his voice. “I’m sorry.” He whimpered, his voice breaking a bit. “Please don't hurt them.”

Muscle memory. Michael felt horrible. That was exactly the kind of thing their father would say, and really this all proved how hard Lucifer had been trying to keep him away from their siblings. “Jesus, no, Lucifer. I'm not mad, I'm not going to hit you, I'm not like him. I'm so sorry.” He whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Lucifer unbuckled their seatbelt and twisted around until his knees hit the back of the seat, and even in such a position Gabriel couldn't make a joke. The blond looked like he had something to say, but he held it off, instead, he wrapped his arms around his brother and laughed. “Let’s go to the mall, and we can all pretend we're a normal family.” He said before pulling away. “You know I love you.”

Michael grinned. “Well, good. You did sit on my lap the whole way here.”

The group was lighter now, laughing again and smiling. 

Lucifer turned to Gabriel as they all crawled out of the car. “And there was a surprising lack of sex jokes from you! Really, I'm concerned for your health.

Gabe scoffed. “Um! Excuse me for not joking about incest!”

“Yeah, like joking about me and Michael isn't something you’d do and have done multiple times.”

“Is that an accusation?”

“It might be an interrogation later. Should I be accusing you?”

“Nah.”

Lucifer elbowed him. “To hell with your nah, I follow you on Snapchat, and much as that sentence physically hurts to say, and I for one remember you taking a picture of me the day after Michael left, where I was on the couch in my pajamas and sobbing into a pillow-- you captioned it as: ‘someone misses his husband!’ With stupid ring emojis at the end!”

It was apparently Michael's turn to enter the conversation. “Woah woah woah, you were sobbing into a pillow when I left? Why?”

Lucifer whipped around and punctuated the following sentence with a clap in during every word. “We had this talk last night, bitch, I was mad.”

Raphael shook her head. “Wrong. He was incredibly sad. He listened to a lot of Depeche Mode that week. That month. It was a long time. We ran through a lot of tissue boxes and it wasn't even allergy season.”

Michael scooped Lucifer up bridal style. “Aw, you do have emotions.”

“Depeche Mode is art. And I love you. Don't let it go to your head.”

Michael leaned in so only Lucifer could hear. “I'll just let it go somewhere else, then, shall I?”

Did Michael deserve the little slap he got? No, he deserved a solid bitch slap, but Lucifer was emotionally repressed.

With Lucifer back on the ground they all walked into the (crappy) mall. Everyone had different input on where they wanted to go, so they stopped to discuss it. Gabe and Balthazar were going to the ratty old arcade, Raphael and Anna were going shopping for clothes, but Michael? Michael had plans. Plans he wanted to announce.

“When I told you guys that I didn't have a girlfriend,” Michael started to say, and everyone leaned closer like he was about to come out, but no. “I lied. There's a girl back at school named Charlie. I'm gonna go get her something… personal.” The kids giggled. “Lucifer, you must have great taste in women's underwear, come with me.”

“You know I'm gay!” Lucifer protested with an eye roll. 

“And you know I'm accusing you of wearing lacy panties when you go to parties, we all know an awful lot about your sex life, Lulu.” Michael countered with a grin.

Everyone agreed on what time to meet back at the spot at 5:00, and said their goodbyes.

Michael practically dragged Lucifer to Victoria's Secret, and instantly they were greeted by an overly cheery teen girl.

“Hi! Shopping for your girlfriends, I assume?”

Michael nodded. “I am, but his girlfriend isn't really into this kinda thing.”

“How sweet! Can I help you find something?”

The older Milton’s lips turned up in a wicked grin. “That'd be lovely, thank you.”

(Lucifer was going to start screaming.)

The lady lead them over to another area of the store. “Color?”

“Pink.”

“Good choice! Lacy or silky?”

“Lacy, I think.”

“Usually a safe move. Any other things? Like patterns or bows?”

“Oh, I think she'd love bows!” Michael answered, as Lucifer turned steadily pink. 

The lady beamed. “I have just the pair in mind, you just wait here!” And she ran off somewhere. 

Lucifer finally snapped. “What are you doing?!”

Michael was infuriatingly suave and calm. “While I don't think you wear panties to parties, you should.”

“I’ll look ridiculous!”

Michael caressed the boy’s (pink) cheek with one hand. “Aw, have some pride! You have a totally hot bubble butt. I've been with a number of girls, mind you, and you're impressive!”

Lucifer swatted the hand away. “How-- how am I supposed to react to that kinda thing, dude?”

The lady started coming back so Michael only muttered. “I dunno, wear the panties?”

Lucifer had a very colorful sentence for Michael, but the she was already talking. “How are these? This is a one size fits most situation, unless you need a specific one.”

“I think it's perfect.” Michael said, turning to Lucifer. “What do you think, Luce?”

Lucifer pulled a strained smile. “Oh, I don't think I can be much help.”

“No, Luce! I think you have great taste, and I value your input.”

“Aha, thanks.” Lucifer kind of laughed through teeth so gritted his dentist probably screamed. “Are you sure she wants this?”

“Of course, she asked me, I didn't ask her.”

“Damn right you didn't ask her.” Lucifer muttered. “Are you sure?”

“It's what she wants.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Lucifer's throat omitted a sound that can only be described as an 80 year old cat choking on a screaming pigeon. He didn't have any words.

Michael smiled warmly and turned back to the girl. “These will be great, thank you so much.” He said, and she nodded before walking away.

Lucifer was still incapable of speech until they walked out of the store with a striped pink bag. As they walked into a bigger part of the mall, he spoke his first words. “I'm not going to wear those.”

Michael tsked. “And you weren't going to wear a dildo. Look at yourself.” And he pressed the remote again.

Lucifer swore as he involuntarily stumbled backwards, but it was too late. He grabbed Michael's hand as he fell, and they both landed in the fountain. 

Michael burst out laughing after he spit out a mouthful of water. “Oh my god!”

Lucifer started throwing coins at his brother. “Jesus! I'm glad this stupid toy is water resistant, or else my ass would have been wrecked in the bad way.”

Michael shook the loose change and water off his head. “Given as it's a sex toy, it has to be, to some extent.”

Lucifer frowned, paling a bit. “Uh oh. Security guard is coming. What do we do?!” He whispered, though no one really knows why, everyone wasn't really bothered by them anyway.

Michael took his hand and whispered: “Run.” And suddenly this wasn't a Supernatural fanfic.

They bolted. The guard shouted something, but they couldn't hear and wouldn't have listened it they could. They were sprinting past small children who gaped up obviously at the two grown toddlers running for dear life in a mall that was more of a place for hookers and dealers then it was for Aunty Anne's. 

After passing a very confused Gabriel, they were outside in the light.

Lucifer bent over, panting. “I ran all the way here with that thing buzzing. And look at me! I'm all wet!”

Michael laughed and clicked it off. “Yeah, I usually have that effect on people.”

Lucifer cracked a grin, giggled a bit, and then shamelessly burst out laughing alongside his older brother.

They looked like maniacs, soaking wet outside the mall and laughing like idiots, but they couldn't care. The whole town could hate them, but it didn't matter, because they loved each other.


	8. Nine Inch (Nails)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I keep getting carried away with the chapters so they have to be broken up a lot. When they get home you'll see references LMAO I'm sorry about that

Michael eventually forgave Lucifer for having a few extra items of clothing in his car for “emergencies” that were definitely related to sexual activity. This was mainly because Lucifer ended up wearing the new underwear. They weren't really much more than a few conveniently placed strings, so they dried very fast. Lucifer, luckily, left his phone at home, and Michael had a waterproof otterbox case, so their phones were fine.

Lucifer broke the silence, not that it was silent, but they were laughing, not talking. “Oh my God, should we go back inside?”

“Nah. Let’s sit in the backseats and talk like adults.”

“I’m not legal, but the bar thinks I am, so I guess we can try talking too.”

Michael elbowed him and hopped back into the car, choosing not to reprimand him for breaking the law. “Alright, what do you drink anyway?”

Lucifer followed him back with a sheepish grin. “Honestly, I'm only there for the money.”

Michael frowned. “You work there?”

Lucifer chuckled. “Aw, you are a babe. Of course not.”

“Then what do you--” Michael turned bright red. “Fucking hell, you're whoring yourself out?!”

Lucifer looked down. “With dad out being a bitch, mom traveling and leaving us, we need money. I only do it to keep the kids happy. They don't know about it. I'm sorry.”

Michael pulled him into a hug. “Hey, you do what you gotta do. I'm sorry it's come to what it has.” He grew quieter as he pulled back. “Wait, you don't let them… fuck you, do you…?”

Lucifer blushed. “I don't offer it. But when they offer a good amount of cash they can do what they want.”

“Shit, how much do you get for it?”

“Over one hundred twenty five, usually. The most I ever got for sex was six fifty. As in six hundred and fifty, not six bucks and fifty cents. Dude was drunk, horny, and loaded.”

Michael didn't ease into the conversation, but he kept it going. “...and what did you have to do for him?”

“I let him fuck me without a condom.”

“WHAT?!”

“And cum in my ass. Provided he proved that he was clean. He was, and he knew because he just got his wife pregnant and was checked for stds before and after. I also sucked him off and let his friends watch, video tape the whole thing, and post it to PornHub.”

“Fucking shit, Lucifer. You don't enjoy it, do you?”

Lucifer shrugged. “I don't hate it. And even if I don't like what I'm doing, it puts food on the table, and smiles on the kid’s faces. I'd let anyone tie me up if it meant I'd be able to provide for our family.”

Michael smiled sadly. “You're a good dude, Lucifer.” He said. “Also, do you think we're selling the whole dating thing?”

“Probably not as well as we could.”

“We should do more clear stuff to each other. Should we kiss more often?”

“Probably.”

“Should we practice?” Michael said, only for the prank, not for any other reason.

Lucifer nodded. “It's important for the case.” He said, and that's all that he was thinking about. “Definitely.” 

Michael lunged forward, pinning the younger down against the seats and grinning. “What's out of the question for this, and what's your color?” He nearly purred.

Lucifer shuddered. “Green, you can do whatever you want to me.”

Michael laughed darkly and attacked Lucifer's exposed neck, biting and sucking marks without hesitation.

Lucifer wasn't prepared for that at all and gasped suddenly. He wrapped his arms around Michael's back just to hold onto something, he needed something to keep him from losing his goddamn mind.

Looking up, Michael was met with Lucifer's flushed face, breathless and shaking ever so slightly, his eyes fluttering closed as he drew sharp gasps. It was mesmerizing. He couldn't help but move to the boy’s lips, forgetting to breathe, actually, because that wasn't one of his top priorities right now, damnit!

Lucifer groaned something against his brother’s mouth and whined like a bitch when Michael pulled away, panting. Lucifer's lips were slightly puffy, bitten red and shining-- irresistible. Michael went right back down to continue.

Michael paused when he felt Lucifer's hips roll up into his, and the younger Milton looked horrified. But Michael actually didn't hate it, surprisingly, and he retaliated by grinding down, grinning.

Lucifer’s gasps broke into a long moan, eyes rolling as his hips chased Michael's own. “Michael!” He whined. “Someone's gonna hear us, turn on some music or something.”

Michael laughed. “Okay, but you have to do something too.” He sat up. “Stay down, and by the time I get back you getter have your pants around your ankles.”

Lucifer actually moaned again without any actual touching involved, pulling his pants down and spreading his legs a bit more, sure to show off the panties Michael made him wear. 

Michael, up in the front, found the first CD in the mess of other old cds and put it on. He didn't know the Nine Inch Nails very well, but that wasn't the point.

He went back to his little brother, crouching by the seat to get a better view and, remembering his special treat, he clicked the vibrator back on. 

Lucifer nearly screamed, arching his back and bucking his hips. Michael laughed and continued pressing the ‘plus’ button, relishing in how Lucifer's moans grew louder, and how he became even more antsy. 

Michael's phone rang. It was Anna. He shushed Lucifer and picked up. “Hey, Anna, what's up?” He said calmly.

“Nothing, I found everyone, we’re all ready to go home. Is Lucifer still with you?”

“Of course, why?”

“I wanna talk to him for a moment.”

Michael grinned. “Hell yeah, he’s right here.”

Lucifer shook his head and slapped him in the face, but was handed the phone nonetheless. “Hey, Anna.” He said, his voice jumping an octave. “What’s up?”

“Dude, you okay?”

Lucifer laughed like he didn’t have a vibrator in his ass. “What? Me? I’m great, just dandy, I’ve legit never been better.”

Anna wasn’t buying it. “You don’t sound okay.”

“No no, I’m good. Great actually. You guys coming back?”

“Yeah, where are you?”

Lucifer gasped as Michael pressed the ‘plus’ again. “HOME!” He hissed.

She paused. “Home?”

“Yeah!” He continued, trying to figure out how to lie from that point on. “We, uh, fell in a fountain, got all wet, walked home, the keys are in the car and the door ain’t locked-- see you soon!”

Anna tried to say something, but Lucifer put the phone down before he lost his composure. He flipped Michael off and squeezed his eyes shut as he moaned again. “Fuck you, Michael.”

Michael laughed. “Unless you want me to turn it up all the way, and call her back, I think you should shut the fuck up.”

Lucifer thrashed about. “We need to get home right now. I just told her we were home!”

“Then let’s go, right now.”

“Good! Turn off the damn toy and let me put my pants back on.”

Michael turned off the car and opened the door. “We’re doing neither of those. We are running home as fast as we can, and leaving your pants behind will seem like we were doing stuff.”

Lucifer swore as he sat up but got out of the car. “Why do I only wear tight shirts that show off my belly button when I move? I could be a normal kid.”

“You're not normal, you're a twink, let's run.” Michael corrected, and they both took off.

It was very thrilling to run through a mall parking lot, but less thrilling when they got back to their street. It was all going well until they caught a few of Lucifer's friends walking by, which was when Michael pushed him into a bush and told him to hide in the alley.

It worked, Michael stood and solicited, but the kids recognized him and wanted to talk about Lucifer and college and other weird shit.

The bush dinged up Lucifer's legs a little bit, but he had other problems. As he pressed himself against the darkened alley wall, he heard a familiar chuckle.

"Hello, Doggy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that I love you all.


	9. That's Not You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I'll just keep on forgetting how long it takes to write these chapters so I'm gonna stop saying when then reference filled chapter will be lmao. I'll put it in the summary when we get there. Sorry.

     Lucifer’s face went pale, He spun around to see the man standing close enough that the stench of whiskey was clear in his breath.

 

   “Mr. Crowley, what are you doing out here?” He asked, keeping up the facade of being calm.

 

   He laughed darkly. “Can’t a man go on a walk through dark alleys?” he dragged a cold finger down Lucifer’s cheek, pausing to play with the boy’s rosy bottom lip. “But what, might I ask, are you doing out all alone, wearing a tight shirt, lingerie, and, If my ears don’t deceive me, a hot little vibrator up in that hot little ass.” He let his other hand creep down to fondle said ‘hot little ass.’

   Lucifer stiffened. “I--I--”

 

   “Got a boyfriend now or something? Someone to make you flaunt your ass in public just to get you worked up, so they can bring you back home and wreck you?” He began prodding against the lace that covered the toy, working it in and out of Lucifer slowly.

 

   Lucifer shuddered and failed to hold back a moan. “N-no, I don’t.”   
  
   He laughed again. “Then it’s your father again, eh? I don’t blame him, no, I don’t blame him at all.”

 

   “No!” Lucifer gasped. “He’s away again.”

 

   Crowley leaned in. “Really? Then he wouldn’t mind, I suppose.”

 

  Before Lucifer could start to ask what he meant, the man closed the gap between their mouths and worked the toy harder. Lucifer moaned into his foul tasting maw and struggled against the wall. He shoved him off for a moment. “Crowley, not now, I need to get home.” He whimpered.

 

   Crowley used his free hand to pin Lucifer’s wrists above his head. “Yes, now. I’ll still pay you, after all, I wouldn’t want to risk losing my favorite little whore.”

 

   “I’m not-- I’m not a whore!”

 

   “No? You sell your ass and mouth, but you’re not a whore? Your father has told me so much about you, and so I think we both know just how much of a slut you are. Now--” something knocked him off his feet and onto the damp asphalt.

 

   “Fuck off!” Michael snarled, pulling Lucifer to his side.

 

   Lucifer was in shock. “M-Michael, I--”

 

   Crowley spat a wad of blood to the ground and looked up at the scowling man above him. His laugh came out as a pained wheeze. “You? Michael Milton! You’re the one who ran off to college-- and you’re the one making him wear that, huh? Oh, you Milton men and your little devil bitch. You’re more like your old man than I thought. I bet you beat him ‘n fuck him just like he does.”

 

   Michael saw red and kicked the older man in the face before yanking Lucifer back towards the mouth of the alley. He reached into his bag flung a pair of (very short) shorts at his brother and barked his command, barely letting Lucifer scramble to put them on before grabbing him by the wrist and walking briskly back to their house, which was, at that point, in sight. He was muttering violently, to low for Lucifer to hear, and his grip was so tight that Lucifer already knew he’d have bruises later. As they got closer, Michael was too out of it to notice that the car was back already.

   Lucifer was shoved into the house with no warning, crying out as he nearly fell in on his face. Before he could say anything to Michael or the rest of his family, who sat in the kitchen, he was promptly spun around and slammed into the wall, two hands pinning him down by the shoulders. As he looked up into his brother’s eyes for explanation, his heart sank to his stomach. He had seen that look in his eyes only once, but he’d seen it in his father’s gaze more than he could remember.

 

   “God damnit!” Michael snarled, and everyone froze. “You just let Father shove himself inside of you whenever he comes home?! You just bend over for him and all his goddamn friends, huh?!

 

   “Michael-- I--!”

 

   Michael grabbed him with one hand by the throat and rammed him into the wall again, restricting his cry of pain as the air was knocked out of him. “You fucking slut! Why wouldn’t you tell me, huh, why would you just fucking tell me?!” He panted madly. “You enjoy it, don’t you? I bet you fucking moan and stick your ass out just to feel loved, right?! How long has this been going on?!” He loosed his grip enough to let Lucifer answer.

 

   “F-Five years, s-sir.”

 

   Michael laughed like he’d gone totally insane before swinging his fist and punching Lucifer in the nose. Someone screamed, covering Lucifer’s low groan, and Anna stood up from her seat quickly. Michael tore a decorational plate from off the wall and threw it at her feet, where it shattered into a near powder. “You stay right there you dumb bitch!” He barked, turning to her.

 

   Lucifer’s voice was hoarse. “M-Michael!” He whimpered. “Please, don’t--”

 

   He whipped around back to his brother. “Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!” He slapped him right in the face, before kicking at his legs as hard as he could, not caring that he heard bones fracturing.

 

   Lucifer keened, his eyes rolling back into his head, and the youngest kids started to cry. “S-sir!” he wailed.

 

   Michael panted through a clenched jaw as he looked down at both of their bodies. Lucifer’s tight pants didn’t help much to conceal the obvious bulge, despite the fact that the vibrator had been off for a while, and Michael’s own jeans were tighter than they had been, though no one else could see that. Michael’s eyes shot back up to his brother and he screamed. “YOU MOTHERFUCKING SLUT! YOU’RE GETTING OFF ON THIS?! BECAUSE DAD BEATS YOUR ASS BRIGHT RED BEFORE HE FUCKS INTO IT, RIGHT?!” He kicked at his legs and stamped on his foot. “YOU’RE NOTHING MORE THAN A WORTHLESS PIECE OF ASS NOW, YOU BITCH!” He punched him in the jaw and ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

 

   The only sound in the house was that of the kid’s muffled crying.

 

   “Michael…?” Lucifer wheezed, his abused throat too sore to talk properly. Without any more support to keep him against the wall, he collapsed to the ground, flat on his face. He ignored the blood streaming down his broken nose, the harsh ache of his throat, his broken foot, dislocated jaw, and sprained ankle and leg-- he crawled across the wooden floor, reaching up at the door as he started to cry. “Micha!” He whimpered. “Micha! I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry…”

 

    Anna started to scream, shrill and long, just as Lucifer’s vision faded out and his head hit the floor in a mess of blood and tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh.


	10. Two Men in a Tub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Slight mentions of rape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all had the same reactions to last chapter as I did lmao, but don't worry this chapter should clear things up.

   “Lucifer! Lucifer!”

 

   When Lucifer came back to his senses, it was late at night. He was freezing cold, and his whole body ached.

 

   Michael was above him, his eyes red and puffy. “Lucifer!” He cried, shaking him lightly.

 

   Lucifer’s throat felt raw. “I’m sorry…” He rasped.

 

   A tear fell from Michael’s face and hit Lucifer’s cheek. “Jesus, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

   “But I--”

 

   “I’ve been looking for you for ages, we all have been. I shouldn’t have let you run off like that.”

 

   It struck Lucifer then that he was outside-- that’s why he was so cold. “How long have I been here?”

 

   Michael shook his head. “I don’t know how long you’ve been right here, but I lost you about an hour ago. Everyone else came home and looked for a while, but it’s not safe for kids out here at night, they’re all waiting at home now.”

 

    Lucifer cried out in pain when he tried to move his legs. Jesus, it was a good thing that Michael wasn’t psycho, but what the fuck happened?”

 

   Michael grimaced and tossed a blanket over Lucifer before gingerly picking him up bridal style. “We can talk while I get you cleaned up at home, okay?”

 

   He tried to groan.

 

   “Too bad, I’m doing it. Let me take care of you. Like a good boyfriend.”

 

   The good thing was, Lucifer could still roll his eyes.

 

    The walk home was uneventful, and Lucifer didn’t object to Michael cuddling him close. It was cold, after all. That was the only reason, Lucifer didn’t care about the fact that he was flush against Michael’s distressingly muscled chest.

 

   Home was a slight adventure, as everyone was freaked out still, but Michael managed to carry Lucifer all the way to the bathroom attached to Luce’s bedroom. Lucifer grunted a little when Michael put him on the rug, but that was the only complaint he had.

 

   Michael stepped away to draw a bath, and once he returned Lucifer had managed to sit up, albeit with his legs splayed out awkwardly.

 

   “This might be a bit… weird, I know, but granted you took a long time to get into the position you are in now, and the fact that you know we’ve done worse, you’ll live.” Michael shrugged as he came back, kneeling on the ground to match Lucifer’s gaze.

 

   Lucifer laughed softly. “Amen.” and he didn’t even gasp when his shirt got pulled up and off his head. He did, however turn a laughable shade of red when Gabriel opened the door to see Michael with his hands on the band of Lucifer’s pink panties-- which would be bad anyways, but Lucifer still had his legs spread, and Michael was holding Lucifer’s shirt.

 

   Gabe screamed and slammed the door.

 

   Michael grinned and made a show of pulling down Lucifer’s panties as slow as he possibly could. Or maybe he was just trying to make sure he wasn’t hurting the boy, whatever, Lucifer’s heart was racing.

 

   Lucifer thanked the lord because Michael left to turn the water off just as he was about to try and take out the damn vibrator, which gave Lucifer time to do it himself.

 

   Michael decided that he also needed to put Lucifer into the bath, even though it was literally right next to him.

 

   To avoid mentioning that the water was too hot, he asked a logical question. “Do you… do you know what happened to me? I only remember having a… a bad dream.”

 

   Michael’s smile fell. “There was, uh, a note left on your chest. From one “Alistair” or something. He left a detailed timeline of what happened, and there were about 350 bucks thrown on your body. What matters is that you’re aware of what you’re doing now, and I’ve got you.”

 

   “Damn, that’s why my ass hurts. At least he paid up.” Lucifer sighed. “Wait, dude, I think you got a cut, come here.”

 

   Michael frowned, but leaned it. “What? It can’t be that bad, I can’t even-- LUCIFER!”

 

   Lucifer yanked his brother into the tub. There really was not enough room for that, but whatever.

 

   “Lucifer! Why’d you do that, now I’m all wet!” He pouted.

 

   “I know, I have that--”

 

   “Don’t steal my stupid joke, I will sue you.”

 

   Lucifer laughed and splashed him in the face, which earned him a splash to the face, which naturally started a war. Just trying to start washing up took longer than expected.

 

   Washing up was a whole mess of its own. Why is that, you? Because Michael was dead serious when he told Lucifer that he’d give him a bath. Which, yeah, meant he was going to wash the poor blond boy’s naked body, Lucifer was not sure how to feel about it.

 

   To make everything even better, the bathtub wasn’t big enough for them, because Michael was a grown ass man, damnit, and Lucifer was really only a little bit shorter than him. Most bathtubs are weirdly small for even short middle schoolers, so it would have been awkward even if only one of them were in it. Because of the situation, Lucifer’s legs were bent up at his chest, and Michael sat kneeling. Michael was still fully clothed, but Lucifer only had the bubbles he made Michael add in.

 

  Michael  “Okay, we’ve been here for a while, I’m gonna wash your hair and you literally can’t stop me.”

 

   Lucifer rolled his eyes. “And how do you plan to do that?”

 

   He grinned. “Either you sit in my lap and face me, or sit between my legs and face away.”

 

   Lucifer started turning pink. “Away.” he said quickly, scrambling to get into place before he embarrassed himself.

 

   Michael didn’t mess around, he actually did wash his hair, and okay, he did make Lucifer have a weird Pikmin looking hairstyle for a bit, but nothing too bad. The thing is, Michael is a bitch, so he decided to ditch the fucking loofa. Lucifer was so damn glad he didn’t have to look at Michael, as he felt his hands slide down the dip of his back. The pattern was normal at first, and Lucifer got over the initial shock, but again, Michael is a bitch, so the pattern changed.

 

       Lucifer bit his lip as Michael teased his inner thigh-- hoping it’d stop soon. Naturally, it didn’t, in fact, it got worse.

 

   “Face me.” Michael whispered, making the younger shudder slightly.

 

   Still, Lucifer obliged, and turned around. He laughed a little when he saw his brother. “Dude, what’s the point of wearing the shirt when I can see through it?” he teased.

 

   Michael rolled his eyes with a smile, and, to Lucifer’s slight surprise, he took off the soaked t-shirt. Once it was off he draped it over Lucifer’s head like a lock of white hair.

 

   “Hmm, making me look more like a girl so your hetero ass can function?” Lucifer winked.

 

   “Well, there are a few differences still, namely--” he reached up suddenly and pinched Lucifer’s nipple. “These.”

 

   Lucifer gasped and stuck out his tongue. “Is that all?” he said, and really it sounded like a challenge.

 

   Michael didn’t say a word, he just grinned. Carefully, but quickly, he moved his hand under the water and dragged his index finger along Lucifer’s cock, pausing only to circle the head.

 

   Lucifer threw his head back and moaned, before slapping his hand over his mouth.

 

   There was a knock at the door. “...Lucifer? Are you okay…?” Raphael asked carefully.

 

   He breathed hard, Michael wrapped the rest of his hand around Lucifer’s shaft and stroked slowly. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine--  _ oh-- _ I’m fine!” He panted.

 

   She retreated, but Michael didn’t back off. “Oh, Lucifer, you’re gonna give yourself away~” He sang.

 

  Lucifer’s eyes fluttered shut as he drew a harsh breath. “Micah!” He moaned.

 

   “Is it that you don’t care? You want everyone to know how good it feels?” He taunted.

 

   Lucifer didn’t lose all of his attitude. “They’ll fucking know who’s doing it, Michael.”

 

   His brother faked shock. “Dirty, dirty words!” He leaned in and dropped his voice. “Should I fill your vulgar little mouth with something...bigger?”

 

   Lucifer whimpered. “Oh, God,  _ please _ , Micah!” 

   Any shame either of them had was thrown out the window at that point, as Michael sat down on the edge of the tub. It was only then that Lucifer felt less… dirty… as he found himself kneeling in front of Michael’s concealed hard-on.

 

   Keeping some of the control in the situation, Lucifer reached forward and slowly dragged the zipper down. “First guy to do this for you, eh?” He grinned. “Bet i’ll be the best, too.”

 

   “Don’t get too cocky, you haven’t even really seen it yet. And anyways, I’m not much of a blowjob guy-- unless you can change that…?” He challenged.

 

   Lucifer licked his lips and pulled Michael’s cock free. He swore lightly. “I guess you really don’t see how fucking big it is until you’re about to suck it.”

 

   Michael began to say something snarky, but instead he just gasped as Lucifer swallowed him down to the hilt. “ _ Fuck _ , Lucifer!” He hissed.

 

   Lucifer didn’t wait, keeping eye contact while bobbing his head, swirling his tongue around the head on every upward movement.

 

   “Fucking hell, you’re so goddamn hot like this, Luca, you have no idea what you do to me.”

 

   Lucifer stopped with a lewd ‘pop’ and he grinned. “Then, show me.” He purred.

 

   Michael growled and grabbed Lucifer by the hair and set a rough pace, thrusting his hips up in time with Lucifer’s mouth, breathing hard and fast.

 

   They continued like that for a while, only pausing for Lucifer to breathe and dirty talk the other into going harder.

 

   But everything has its end, and this was Michael’s. “Shit, Luce!” He pulled away last minute and came on Lucifer’s face, which wasn’t the intention, but hey, it was hot as Hell.

 

   Lucifer was laughing, though his voice was a bit more hoarse. He licked at his lips, trying get what he could.

 

   Michael stroked his brother’s cheek tenderly. “Dirty, dirty boy. I think we should get back to everyone now, right?” He leaned in close. “And I think such a dirty boy should be humiliated in front of them, huh? I’ll put the vibrator back and and we see how well you can behave?”

 

   Lucifer bit his lip. “Yes, sir.”

 

   But uh no homo because this was all 100% in the name of a prank, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (OOOh light smut lmao)  
> ABOUT LAST CHAPTER: Yeah Michael has issues but he wouldn't snap tHAT badly. I will say that y'all will see a very angry, very real Michael in a later chapter.   
> Stay tuned, and also I love y'all sm


	11. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG

  
R: SO YOU GUYS HEARD THAT RIGHT

B: That moan?  
B: He’s totally getting some.

A: I DID  
A: AND I AGREE

G: Do we say anything??

R: NO.  
R: We could still be wrong, and if they think we don’t know they might get…  
R: Bolder…

A: OOoo girl okay I see how it is

G: Wait  
G: what if they're like. Pranking us??

R: Dude they don't know that we know. And that's a really weird joke.

G: good point.

B: Okay wait i think they're coming out let's act normal.

\---

Lucifer kind of waddled out the bathroom with obviously swollen lips. Michael followed behind him-- looking like he just won the lottery.

Gabriel came bounding over. “Do you feel better?” He asked.

Lucifer grinned and ruffled the younger’s hair. “Yeah, Mike took good care of me.” He shared a look with his older brother for a moment. “Now, who’s hungry?”

Everyone’s hand shot up.  
“Then let me get my apron.” Lucifer laughed, walking into the pantry.

Michael sat down on a stool. “What’s chef Milton cooking tonight?”

Lucifer emerged with a ladle and a pink apron. “Pasta! Fresh fettuccine from the market, probably al dente because we’re all impatient.”

Anna came in holding the speaker. “I hope you guys like Fall Out Boy, because that’s what I’m playing and no one can stop me.”

Cooking turned out to be more interesting than anticipated. As everyone was singing and laughing, Michael made some mischief. Midway through “dance, dance” he snuck behind Lucifer, who was swaying to the beat, and scooped him up fireman style.

Lucifer turned about as red as the tomato sauce he’d been attempting to prepare. “Put me down!” He cried, kicking his legs slightly in protest. “Micha!”

Michael laughed (as did the others) while Lucifer slapped him in ass with a ladle. He tossed the younger forward until they could look each other in the eyes.

The room, still not silent because of Patrick Stump singing, collectively froze a little bit as Lucifer was left inches from Michael’s face. They all wanted him to lean in and steal a kiss. Even the writer wanted that shit to happen.

At that moment, because the world sucks major ass, the doorbell rang.

“Gabe, Lucifer called, turning to his youngest brother. “You get that!”

Gabriel raced off to the door to find young Sam and Dean Winchester standing on the porch.   
  
“Hey, Gabe.” Dean smiled slowly. “I know it’s kinda late but…” He trailed off.

Lucifer cut in, still in Michael’s arms but facing the two teens. They’d been over this before: if the Winchester boys ever felt endangered at their house, they’d come over to the Milton’s unless Chuck was home. “Don’t worry about it. Dinner in five, I assume you haven’t eaten, and I’m not letting you kids go hungry. We’re having pasta.”

Sam and Dean grinned and nodded gratefully. Once they sat, Sam began chattering away about a new book he started. “It’s a mystery!” The eleven year old cried. “It’s called Anonymous Autumn, by Ava Schiber. I don’t know how to say her last name, though. It might be ‘shy-ber’ or ‘shih-ber’ or maybe even ‘she-ber’ but I don’t know. But it’s about angels and demons, mainly one Archdemon Lumiel. They’re really cool! The main plot is like if you--” And yeah no he just kept on talking.  
Lucifer, still being held captive, announced that the pasta was ready and beat his brother with a baguette until he let him down.  
The age old rule of 'no phones at the dinner table' was employed, which, in their household, meant that everyone put their phones in the middle, and whoever's phone went off first had to read the text aloud or answer the phone call on speaker. For that reason, Lucifer rarely brought his phone with him-- today, however, was an exception.   
The food was good and everyone was content. Then, of course, Lucifer’s phone dinged. Everyone turned to him with a grin. Lucifer rolled his eyes and picked up the phone.

“Read it!” Gabriel chanted.

Lucifer was frozen in place, his eyes wide. The phone in his hand continued to ding violently before it vibrated with the incoming call. He took a shuddering breath and answered. “Hey, Dad…”

The rest of the group collectively paled.

Lucifer started shaking his head. “No, sir, I-- yes, but--”

Michael nearly exploded when he could start to hear their father shouting on the other end.

Lucifer quietly put down the phone. “Well.” He said, still staring at the screen. “Sonuvabitch is in London right now, on a book tour.”

His oldest brother was clearly not having that. “Luce, he can’t talk to you like that.”

Gabriel nervously made his way into the conversation again. “He’s… he’s been hurting you again, hasn’t he?”

The group stiffened even more. Lucifer wouldn’t look up. “Yeah, but, it doesn’t matter, I mean.”

A loud bang made everyone jump. Michael had slammed his hand down on the table. “Damnit, Lucifer!” He hissed. “That matters, that fucking matters a lot!”

The poor boy was shaking where he sat, his eyes wide and welling with tears. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I’m sorry, I--”

“Where were you three months ago?” He continued. No one had brought it up before then-- most of them just figured they didn’t want to know, or wouldn’t get the truth. “You weren’t at home for a month, and yes you told me you were with your friends but I asked them, they hadn’t seen you.”

“How did you…”  
“Doesn’t matter. Where were you?”

  
Lucifer got up from his chair without a word and dashed up the stairs, tears silently streaming down his cheeks.

Michael’s gaze was dark, he stared at the table when addressing the group. “He’s a prostitute. And I think Dad’s whoring him out.” He said, and with that he joined Lucifer upstairs.

The dinner table was in shock. Yeah, they knew Lucifer slept around-- even their mother did-- but prostitution? It was illegal-- and, worse, the ever reckless and prideful Lucifer Milton was sure to take on more than healthy if it paid well. Their father seemed, to the general public, to be a chill person, but the kids all knew the truth. The man had money, a lot of it, but he spent it on booze and ‘donations’ to keep the police silent, should anyone call for help-- the kids, the only ones who really lived at home, barely got any money at all. Lucifer handled their money, why wouldn’t he, so no one really questioned where it came from or how much it was.

Dean spoke up. “This is screwed up.”

Sam kicked his brother from under the table. “Dean!”

“No, no. I mean, our dad has issues, you know, but he’d never do half of what y’all’s father do to that kid. Sometimes it does feel like he’ll hit us but he doesn’t. And here Michael is, implying that Chuck is forcing his own son to… it’s just not right.”

Anna nodded slowly, twirling her fork in her pasta. “He’s scared. He won’t act like it, but he is. Michael scares him too, sometimes, and in varying ways. Ages ago, before Michael left, they got into a huge fight-- Michael, being, well, Michael, took it too far, said things he shouldn’t have said. Now Lucifer is afraid that Michael will hate him, or, worse, love him the way Chuck does. I also think he’s afraid of the way he loves Mikey. They’ve always been close, closer than most people find rational. I think their bond honestly scares him.”

Raphael frowned. “He takes the fall for everything. Curse of his name, I say. Dad doesn’t like that I used to be a boy? The second he says anything near transphobic, Lucifer is there to tell him off. And so he’s punished for disobedience. His main problem is that he’s terrified that he’ll hurt any of us. He doesn’t want us to be brought up like he was.”

It looked like no one was gonna bring up the mood-- Balthazar chimed in with: “Actually, Anna, I think you’re wrong about one thing.” He took a long drink of water. “Chuck doesn’t hate Lucifer, I don’t think he really hates him at all. No, I think he actually favors him. But obsession is, more often than not, just as dangerous. It’s the odd shade of grey in the abuse spectrum.”

“Gray.” Gabriel corrected.

“What are you on about?”

“It’s gray. Not grey.”

“Come on, man, it’s just a colour.”

“Color, I’m gonna slap you.”

“Yeah? Have at me!”

And Gabriel kneed him in the balls.

  
\---

The rooftop was serene, as it always was. It was Lucifer’s favorite place to calm down, which was helped by the fact that the Novaks (Who owned the other half the building) rarely spent any time up there. The place wasn’t very pretty in itself, with nothing but wilted greens and dirtied cement with stains that looked a bit too much like blood, but the sunsets were something to marvel at. So that’s where Lucifer sat, on the small concrete wall that bordered the edge, his legs swinging beneath him as tears fell down to the first floor like raindrops, more ashamed than saddened, his body haloed with the burning sky behind him.

Michael joined him slowly, softly. “You aren’t planning on jumping, I hope.” He said, taking a seat next to his brother.

Lucifer laughed a little, wiping his tears with his sweater. “You aren’t planning on pushing me, I hope.”

That earned a little chuckle from Michael as well. “No, no I’m not.”

“Than I guess I’m staying up here.”

Michael cleared his throat after a moment of silence. “You know that I love you, right?”

Lucifer didn’t look at him, but he smiled. “I know. You’ve made that clear.”

“If anything, I think I love you too much.” He continued. “Too much to be… rational. To be natural.”

Looking up at him for the first time, Lucifer saw some kind of fear in his brother’s eyes. “Micha, what exactly are you trying to say?”

There might have been hope in the younger Milton’s eyes, Michael thought he saw it there, but it was shaded by worry, and doubt. Maybe his heart rate picked up too, maybe this wasn’t that crazy, and maybe-- “I don’t know, Jesus, I don’t know. But I want you to really understand that I do love you… a lot.”

Lucifer shuffled closer, so their sides were flush against each other. He rested his head on Michael’s shoulder, smiling. “I love you too.”

They sat there in silence for ages, neither wanting the moment to end. Lucifer slid farther down until he was laying on his back with his head in Michael’s lap. Michael carded his hands through Lucifer’s golden shock of hair absentmindedly, having eventually started humming slow songs just loud enough for Lucifer listen along. Once he stopped, however, Lucifer began to sing softly.

“Wake,  
From your sleep,”

It was an old(er) favorite of theirs.

“The drying of  
Your tears”

Radiohead, wasn’t it?

“Today,  
We escape,  
We escape,”

Yeah, ‘Exit Music (For a Film)’

“Pack,  
And get dressed,  
Before your father hears us,  
Before  
All hell  
Breaks loose.”

This had played at Michael’s prom by request.

“Breathe,  
Keep breathing,  
Don't loose  
Your nerve,”

Michael had a lot of girls asking him to dance.

  
“Breathe,  
Keep breathing,  
I can't do this  
Alone.”

So naturally, he declined them all and brought Lucifer along.

“Sing,  
Us a song,  
A song to keep  
Us warm.  
There's  
Such a chill,  
Such a chill.”

They danced and laughed and sang the night away.

“You can laugh,  
A spineless laugh,  
We hope your  
Rules and wisdom choke you…”

Did their father ever know? Did he ever notice?

“Now,  
We are one,  
In everlasting peace,”

What did it matter, though-- it was one of the best nights in Michael's life.  
“We hope that you choke  
That you choke.”

Lucifer's too--

“We hope that you choke.  
That you choke.”

But he rarely got any good nights around that time.

“We hope,  
That you choke,  
That you choke.”

That last line? A shared sentiment. Lucifer, with purple bands around his neck, was wont to dreaming of his father swinging from the rafters by a felled stool. (But I suppose that is strangulation and not choking but okay)

Michael felt an odd sense of euphoria. Sure, he was buzzed from dinner still, however this wasn't the blind frenzy of alcohol, no, but something naive and young. “Beautiful.” He said, maybe not even realizing that it was aloud.

Lucifer might have had a slight blush. “What?” He said, opening his eyes to look up into his brother's own. As he stared he started to feel something new stirring inside him.

“Your voice.” Michael continued, smiling that genuine smile Lucifer had so dearly missed. “It's beautiful. All of you, truly, is beautiful.” He saw a flurry of emotions stream through Lucifer's bright eyes and he hastily amended himself. “And I don't mean that the way I said it when we were… acting… in the bathroom. I, honest to God, think that you here, Lucifer Milton, are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.”

  
At that moment, and that moment exactly, both boys identified their foreign emotion: Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update sooner, sorry about that, but I'm in a better mood and I'm not sick anymore so I should be writing more! Love y'all!


	12. Five Feet Apart (Cause They're Not Gay)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lmao sorry for the long break but here have a longish chapter.

“Micha.” Lucifer breathed. “Can you keep a secret?”

Michael was still looking down at the younger, smiling. “Of course.”

“When I was gone, I was with Dad and some of his… friends. I already knew most of them from work.”

Michael’s smile fell. “For a month?” He whispered.

“I know.”

 

“Alone?”

“Of course.”

He was shaking his head. “Jesus, just-- shit, Lucifer. They could have killed you, you know?”

Lucifer looked ashamed. “They made that clear.” He said, distant and guilty.

Michael leaned down and placed a chaste kiss to his forehead. “But you’re back now. I’m sorry I upset you earlier. I… didn’t mean to scare you.”

Closing his eyes, Lucifer let out a long sigh. “I love you dearly, Micha, but you do scare me sometimes. I know you won’t hurt me but… it’s not always easy to read situations because of Dad. Every little thing I do wrong could end up with a punishment, and that scares me.

Michael nodded. “I can understand that. Just remember that if you really need to, I’m sure that Charlie wouldn’t mind if you crashed out our place.”

 

Oh, right, Charlie. “Are you and her…?” Lucifer asked warily, cracking open an eye and raising his brows.

To his surprise, Michael burst out laughing. “No! No, lord no. She’s a lesbian, like, the biggest lesbian to ever lesbian.”

Well now he’s just embarrassed. “Oh…”

“I think you’d like her, she really wants to meet you. And before you ask, yes, I talk about you a lot, don’t laugh at me, and yes she knows about all of you guys-- I even told her that you and I are technically not related, seen as I’m the only legit child of our parents.”

“Wait, all three of us? I thought Gabriel was a true Milton?”

“Okay, wow, let’s review. I was born, you were adopted because Dad drank himself sterile, Raphael was kicked out of her home for being trans, and Gabriel is from a fling mom had.” 

Lucifer sighed again. “Well, when it comes down to it, that makes the prank less gross.”

“Yeah, I suppose it does.”

They were quiet again.

“Michael?”

The older looked back down at him. “Hm?”

“I think-- and you better not tell anyone, Mike, or I will take your kneecaps-- I like someone.”

Michael’s heart sank a bit. (A Lot.) “That’s great, Luci.” He said, really not meaning it. “That’s just wonderful.”

Lucifer’s excitement quelled. He’d thought that maybe… just maybe… “Yeah… thanks…”

Now, Michael didn’t know much about how to express his emotions to others, but he knew a damned lot about running away from them. He’d been doing just that for years, and now, sparked by what should have been an uncomfortable jest, he was closer to everything he ever feared. “Lucifer…?”

He looked up with those damned blue eyes, sparkling somewhere between mischief and innocence, not knowing how tight it made his older brother’s chest feel with elation. “Yeah?”

God, this was disgusting, wasn’t it? This was his brother-- albeit from another mother and father-- his little baby brother. They were years apart, for God’s sake! And, Christ, Lucifer was a child, that bathroom stunt was only supposed to be just that: a stunt. It all went too far. Michael was twenty-five, but Lucifer was only seventeen-- that’s an eight year gap. That time that they went to prom? Lucifer was only in fourth grade, for perspective. It’s not like Michael had any sexual or even romantic desires for the young boy-- he just had a very strong love for him, and so he wanted to spend the night with someone who didn’t want to get laid at the end of the night. But one day everything changed. It was just a text sent to the wrong person, that’s all it was, it just happened to be of Lucifer, stripped down to a pair of lacy underwear, biting his lower lip. Lucifer was fifteen. Michael was out of the house. The image stayed in the oldest Milton’s head for weeks. And if he awoke to soiled sheets in the morning, he just told himself that he couldn't have possibly dreamed anything about sweet Lucifer-- especially since he was straight.

“Micha, what is it?”

Michael snapped back to attention, Lucifer’s hand lifted up to his cheek in some kind of cruel affection. “Just… two, nearly three, years ago… you--”

Lucifer’s phone rang, startling them both.

It was then that Lucifer realized the time. “Shit.” He hissed. “I didn’t realize it was getting so late, I have to go.”

Michael, having put together what he meant,l grabbed his brother’s wrist as he tried to sit up. “Luca…” He whispered, sorrow shown in his eyes. “Please.”

Lucifer yanked his hand back, Michael pulled him forward until he was seated in his lap. “Micha, you’ve got to let me go.” He said, lacking any bite or malice.

Michael shook his head slowly. “I just got you back, I can’t-- I won’t-- lose you again.”

Lucifer smiled softly. “Just for a few hours. I’ll be okay. I usually am.” He left a quick peck on Michael’s lips as he hopped off and to the other side of the rooftop.

Michael turned to see Lucifer starting down the fire escape. “Call me, would you? At least let me pick you up… you’re not wearing enough to be walking back at night.”

“Thanks, mom.”

 

Michael walked back into the house, thinking, hoping, praying. Lucifer would be okay. Of course he’d be. He had to be. He was always okay, wasn’t he?

Wasn’t he?

\---

It was a lighthearted night for the others-- they were watching The Prestige intently and whispering about Borden or Angreir’s schemes-- but Michael was growing more and more restless as the movie went on.

“He’s asleep upstairs.” Michael would say when asked about Lucifer. “He’s rather tired after everything today.”

Gabriel was pressed against Sam in one of the arm chairs, Anna was braiding Raphie’s hair, Alfie was rolling on the floor, Dean was missing the little Novak and sat alone, while Michael paced around the door in the kitchen.

Eventually his phone went off with a quiet ding, and he nearly ran into a barstool. 

L: Okay don’t get mad...

M: Oh lord what did you do

L: I think I broke my jaw.

M: Christ, Lucifer!

L: That’s a fun phrase.  
L: But I got paid enough it’s chill

M: It’s not chill YOUR JAW IS BROKEN

L: No  
L: I’m just theatrical  
L: And gay  
L: Point is I think it’s only dislocated.

M: Dude where are you so I can come over

L: NO.

M: ???  
M: I beg your pardon???

L: I can get home fine on my own

M: Lucifer. Where are you?

L: I’m almost home, I’m okay.

M: Bitch.  
M: I’ll be waiting for you.  
M: Be safe.

L: Quit mothering me.

M: Luce.

L: I know. I know.  
L: I love you.

M: I love you too.

Michael set his phone down on the counter, sighing and running a hand through his hair. Lucifer was going to kill him with all this stubbornness and silent determination shit. It’s not that Michael didn’t know where it came from, an abused kid who more or less pretends to not exist is sure to act that way, but it was frustrating.

After setting up a few blankets for the Winchester boys in case they ended up sleeping over downstairs, he bid everyone a good night and headed up for the roof. 

The air up there was cool on his skin, but he shivered more in worry than from the chill. Why didn’t Lucifer want to be picked up? Did he not want to be seen? Was he with someone? He had a lot of questions and virtually no answers. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait very long. The sound of the fire escape shuddering alerted him long before Lucifer reached the top. And boy, did he look like shit. His jaw was purple on one side, blood streaked down his forehead and nose, and he was limping awkwardly.

“Hey, Micha.” His voice was hoarse, from god knows what he did.

Michael rushed over to his side, hugging him gently before helping him stand by propping up his side. “Jesus, let’s just get you cleaned up, okay?”

 

Lucifer didn’t answer, silently grateful as they made their way back inside. They rounded the corner to Lucifer’s bedroom just as Raphael was making her way up the stairs. Upon the sight of her older brother bleeding in torn clothes, she dropped her glass of water, not even flinching when it shattered.

Lucifer, as if a switch had been flipped somewhere inside him, dropped down to his knees without warning, hastily picking up the glass with his bare hands.

Michael and Raphael had the same dumbstruck expression. Michael snapped out of it first and yanked Lucifer back up to his side, knocking the glass out of his bloody palms. 

“No, I’ve gotta help clean it up.” Lucifer protested, his voice small and almost childlike as he remained struggling in his brother’s grasp. “That’s my job, I-- I clean up so that he-- so that he--” His throat seemed to tighten up and the words wouldn’t form.

“Luca, baby, you’re okay.” Michael said gently, trying to get the younger to calm down. “No one’s gonna hurt you, alright? You’re safe, you’re with me.”

Raphael was speechless. Lucifer stood, quivering, maybe crying, locked in Michael’s embrace while dressed in torn clothing and sporting bruises on his neck, jaw, and knees. At this point there were others on the stairwell, silent as she, because what could they say? How could they even begin to understand what Lucifer was going through? They all were afraid of Chuck, of course, but Lucifer made sure that no one else would get hurt.

“Okay, okay,” Michael whispered. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

Lucifer nodded slowly. “Y-yeah, just let me clean this up…”

Michael frowned and placed a fleeting kiss on his forehead. “No, Luca, you’re not thinking right. This is a dangerous mindset you’re in, so we’re gonna go, and I’ll come back to clean this all up.”

It looked like he might protest some more, but instead he just took a shuddering breath and nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

“No, this is about what you want, Lucifer.”

“I-- I think I want to pick the glass up.”

“That’s what dad wants, not what you want.”

Lucifer hesitated. “I.. don’t want you to hate me… and I don’t wanna be scared anymore…”

Michael started helping his brother back down the hall. “I could never hate you, ever. And I’m gonna keep you safe now, no one’s gonna hurt you again.” And as they entered the room, he added a barely audible “I love you.”

Back in the other room, Anna had begun sweeping the glass up without a word. They all stood stiff and pale, marble statues of some great fear. Balthazar was still staring at the drops of blood on the wooden floor.

In Lucifer’s bedroom, the two boys stood there in the dark, hugging tightly.

“I love you, I love you,” Michael kept whispering-- not that Lucifer would take it the way he meant it, but he didn’t care.

Lucifer didn’t complain when Michael dragged him to the bathroom. 

“Run a bath and get undressed, would you? I need to go make sure all the glass is picked up.”

The blond nodded and crouched by the tub as Michael left.

Michael found the hall empty of all people, and glass, for that matter, when he walked out. He sighed, not really wanting to have the conversation he was about to have, and descended down the stairs. The film was still on, but everyone was only staring at the screen with a tired, blank expression. 

“He’s okay.” Michael said, capturing their attention, though they didn’t face him. “He’s mainly just a bit rattled.”

“You said he was asleep.” Raphael said, her voice cold and expressionless. “Why?”

Michael looked down. “I wanted to believe it. I wanted to believe he isn’t selling himself to dirty men night after night, but I can’t stop him.”

When Gabriel spoke, there was venom in his voice. “Of course you could.” He hissed. “You know he listens to every word you say, right? He’d jump off the roof if you just said the word. So why don’t you just tell him to stop?”

That, as far as Michael was concerned, was an accusation. He found himself growing angry. “Gabriel, don’t you dare. He is afraid of me, that’s why he listens, most of the time he’s terrified I’m going to snap and be just like Father is. And I will not take advantage of him like that. He’s not a dog, Gabe, he spends so much time being someone’s little bitch that he needs time to feel like a human being. Him going out at night isn’t his choice, but it’s one of the few things that makes him feel like he has purpose. I will not let him fall, not again. He’s not just a fucking cockwarmer, and, Gabriel, that’s what I'm slowly trying to teach him.”

“Whatever, you know he’s your bitch too.” Gabriel muttered.

Michael saw red. “Gabriel Milton, do not talk about your brother like that!”

Gabriel sprang to his feet, standing on the couch and finally facing the older. “Our brother, Michael! Or have you forgotten that? Have you only started to see the little bitch that he’s become, following you like a kicked puppy, loving you desperately even though you abandoned him! He nearly died, Mike, and where were you?”

Michael ran a hand through his hair wildly, trying to calm down. “As soon as I finish school, Gabe, then I can take you all away from Dad.”

Gabriel sat back down. “Keep telling yourself that.” There were tears running down his face, not that Michael knew. “One of these days someone is going to push him too far. He thinks I don’t know what our excuse of a father does to him some nights, he thinks I never heard him crying and screaming into a gag as Dad--” He broke off. “But I do.” He whispered. “I’ve seen the bruises.”

“He’s going to be okay.” He said quietly. “I’ll make sure of it.” And he started back upstairs.

Lucifer was kneeling at the tub with his head on the rim. As Michael walked in, his eyes were drawn to the cuts and bruises all over Lucifer’s nude body. His hips had twin bruises, no doubt where someone had gripped too hard, his back was scratched up, and purple hickeys were scattered all across his skin. Lucifer lifted his head, blood dried on his face, his jaw (which Lucifer had set before he came home) still bruised. 

“I’m sorry, Micah.” He said, barely audible over the running water.

Michael came and kneeled by his side. “You did nothing wrong, Luce.”

“I told them not to.” He added. “I told them that I didn’t want to…” he waved lightly to the counter, where a large stack of cash sat. “At least they had the heart to pay extra.”

“Why do you do this, Luce?”

He looked up at the older. “Dad. It was all his idea. I needed to make money because he refused to give us any, and he forced me into this mess. I continue in fear of what he’ll do if I stop-- and he’ll know, because most of my clients are his friends. I just stay motivated by the idea that what I’m doing keeps the kids fed.”

Michael sighed and touched foreheads with his brother. “You are very strong, Lucifer. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You might have saved their lives, you know, and you keep them safe from Father-- he’s never hurt any of them.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes, Luca, now get into the tub.”

Lucifer obliged with a slight nod, sliding into the water with his knees to his chest. He wasn’t showing off his body as freely this time, Michael noted, guarding his crotch and curling in on himself. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, Luce, Im not going to touch you like I did earlier, and I am sorry for that-- I don’t think I really asked you.”

 

“It’s fine.” Lucifer mumbled. “Was all just for the prank. We got carried away, it was a weird few hours.”

Michael paused. “What hurts?”

Lucifer frowned. “Nothing.”

Michael gave him a look.

“...my jaw, back, knees, and ass.”

“That doesn’t sound like nothing, honey.” Michael sighed, grabbing a cup from the side and pouring water over his brother’s head.

Lucifer shook his head violently, shaking water from his hair like a dog. A rosy stream trickled down his chin-- a mix of dried blood and water.

The bath went normally, they didn’t talk all too much, and by the time Michael dragged Lucifer out of the bath, the poor boy was half asleep and still stark naked.

“Luce,” Michael whispered, standing alone at the dresser while Lucifer laid out on the bed (A towel beneath his still slightly damp head). “What do you want to wear?”

“Toss me whatever underwear you want, I don’t have the energy to put myself in anything else. If you really want me wearing pants then, I guess you’re welcome to try.”

Michael laughed and threw a random pair (The lights were off, it was hard to see) at the younger, who laughed as it hit his face. “Classy, Mike,” He rolled his eyes. “You just really love me in panties, don’t you?”

“If you want me to get something else, I will.” Michael added as he sat next to him.

“Nah,” Lucifer grinned, slipping them on and yanking the covers over him.

Michael stripped down to his boxers and joined him. “Might as well be partially naked together, right?” 

Lucifer shifted closer to the older, mainly because he wanted to, but also because Michael was warm. Michael pulled him all the way over as well, only because he wanted to, and he wrapped his arm over him until they were spooning.

“Luca?” Michael whispered against his brother’s neck. “Are you feeling better?”

Though no one could see it, Lucifer was smiling. He turned around to face him, reaching that small distance to grab his hand. “I love you.” He said. “You got to be all sappy a few hours ago, and I didn’t say enough.” He paused. “You’re going to make some girl hella happy, Mike, and while it’s gonna be hard letting you go and kinda… I don’t know, trusting someone outside of the family. I just hope she makes you happy, and yeah, it’d be great if we just stayed like this forever, but… but I want you to have a really happy life. And I hope you still visit us here, or, wherever we are…” He trailed off. Granted, it was friday, they only had about three days until the whole prank thing was over, and boy would that be good for both of them-- this was getting out of hand. “If any one of us are gonna do some good in this world, it’s gonna be you. And just imagine it, you, a lawyer… you’re gonna be amazing.”

 

Michael’s heart was doing flips, he wanted this conversation to end fast so they could get closer to Monday, but for some reason, he wanted to just stay where they were for the rest of their lives. “And you’re an angel. A goddamn angel, and I don’t care what names we’d get called, I’d be more than happy to spend my entire life with you.”

And just how could he answer that? How? Fuck it, they’d just play this off as part of the prank, because that’s what it was-- a joke, it wasn’t real, this was all just a stupid game, so this doesn’t matter. 

Michael spoke again, softer. “Luca?”

“Hm?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Can I kiss you?”

(and how could he say no?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that you are valid and beautiful! Unless you're a Nazi! In which case you're a piece of shit!  
> Happy almost Halloween to the non nazis! I'll post a throwback chapter of their Halloween soon oooo  
> Stay spooky y'all


End file.
